All Comments on 'Avoidance'

Avoidance, well named;

Avoidance of pain...

this reminds me of a trip to Baltimore and all the overpasses being built over the slums...hiding the dirt with concrete....just so the elite can have the waterfront for themselves...its really a shame to see such madness...ty for writing about a subject getting out of hand in this country...the past 8 years...bluerains

I think for the most part this is quite solid (though, in my opinion, the last two lines could be rewritten to pack more wallop - they don't match up well with the poem). I think you handled the rhyme fairly well, with it feeling natural and unforced in most spots - though the next to last stanza may not be a good idea, end-rhyming all three lines and breaking the pattern you set.

There are some edits:

cill = sill

to precious = too precious

humans = humans'

to horrid = too horrid

Interesting poem.

with its conveyance on the frailities of life. you've certainly captured the selfish human element very well. nicely done.....don

bows humble...I always enjoy your poetry

A poet telling it like it is ~ not as it should be. Right On.