mostly because I just got home from the hospital nice write wild~
one small suggestion. You could drop "in white."
The break in your stanza's is distracting but your imagery is wonderful, with some editing this could be a strong piece.
This was a nice read, showed nice separation between writer and words with subject matter that a weaker poet would drool sentimental over.
I definately agree with the previous comment...('in white' is redundant and must be removed), but do not at all agree that the linebreaks were distracting. I think they are fine, and your linebreaks in general lately have begun to display a more sophisticated feel for your material. They are not random, for the most part, as they used to be.
is from me.
Forgot to sign in, as usual. :)
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