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English
this poem touched me
mostly because I just got home from the hospital nice write wild~
nice poem
one small suggestion. You could drop "in white."
***
The break in your stanza's is distracting but your imagery is wonderful, with some editing this could be a strong piece.
~Sabina
Pleasant read.
This was a nice read, showed nice separation between writer and words with subject matter that a weaker poet would drool sentimental over.
I definately agree with the previous comment...('in white' is redundant and must be removed), but do not at all agree that the linebreaks were distracting. I think they are fine, and your linebreaks in general lately have begun to display a more sophisticated feel for your material. They are not random, for the most part, as they used to be.
The comment below
is from me.
Forgot to sign in, as usual. :)
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