homeNon-Erotic PoetryI Want To Run (Version 2)Public Comments

All Comments  for

I Want To Run (Version 2)

bywildsweetone©
All
Comments (5)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by TheRainMan12/12/05

TheRainMan

An improvement. I still think there is not total clarity of meaning (except to the "you" that you write to. That person would understand it quite well, I think) for the reader. But it is tighter than it was, and the phrasing is crisp for the most part.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by My Erotic Tale12/12/05

mentioned

your poem was mentioned on the thread, New Poems Reviews

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by 12/12/05

~

Oh, this is good, WSO. Love those ending lines. The poem flowed wonderfully!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous12/13/05

beep

I like the way it runs like a green line across the monitor! Well done, Sweetie!

Fly

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by WickedEve12/13/05

~

I love these lines:
like the wooden boards
on an empty wine barrel

I'm adding wine barrel to my must-use list. :)

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to I Want To Run (Version 2)  or
More submissions by wildsweetone.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel