Most of these stories with vaginal and anal tearing don't take into consideration the possibility of infection. This woman had vaginal tearing then anal penetration with tearing. She could very well develop fissures and nasty urinary tract infections, but I guess the gratuitous pain is what these stories are about.
by
Anonymous11/29/14
Superb
Extraordinarily well written. Thank you. Compels me to consider the erotic ether of the mind behind the writing & conjures up visions of dinner at the Savoy Grille with such an erotically gifted author.
The beginning of this story was intriguing. It sucked me in with the potential for perhaps a very good Master/slave story. The writing was good in the first chapter and it seemed well thought out. Then I read the other chapters...
With each subsequent chapter, it slid further and further downhill until it hit rock bottom with this installment. You need an editor. There are numerous grammar and spelling mistakes from chapter two on that detract from the story.
The story is disjointed. First, you begin with her being sold by her uncle, refusing to accept her lot, yet within minutes she's brainwashed into accepting it because of his cock??? Not believable in the least.
Second, you mention a staff, in another chapter, marked by those who came before, but did not explain that. I thought you meant for it to be placed between her teeth and perhaps you were going to have the man brand her, but next she's flirting with a guard and he's camp bitch? What?
Third, the man goes to fuck her at the end of the chapter before this then at the beginning of this chapter, he's magically finished and pulling all THIRTEENS inches from her?!?!! Thirteen??? What man is 13 inches long?? You're moving beyond fiction and into pure fantasy with this one.
Finally, he's beating her, saying she deserves a punishment but you never mention exactly what her transgression was. I stopped reading at that point.
Please get an editor, please put ALL chapters together and read from start to finish then fill in the missing details and repost. Also, perhaps give the man a heart. He doesn't want to mar her but he's torn her pussy? How? With his massive, unreal cock?? Or did he fuck her with his scimitar?
Again, your story has potential tone a good one, but you need to fix the mistakes and repost for that to happen. One star for this installment, two for the other chapters but the first, that one got four from me, which is what I give all well written stories with rare exception. That chapter deserved it. The rest didn't.
English
Thank you -- a Fabulous Installment
Such a hot story. I'll check back often while I wait for future chapters. I'm looking forward to the next one!
Where are the rest of the chapters?
Please don't tell me that the story is over. :(
*pouts*
Infection
Most of these stories with vaginal and anal tearing don't take into consideration the possibility of infection. This woman had vaginal tearing then anal penetration with tearing. She could very well develop fissures and nasty urinary tract infections, but I guess the gratuitous pain is what these stories are about.
Superb
Extraordinarily well written. Thank you. Compels me to consider the erotic ether of the mind behind the writing & conjures up visions of dinner at the Savoy Grille with such an erotically gifted author.
Started out great with chapter 1
The beginning of this story was intriguing. It sucked me in with the potential for perhaps a very good Master/slave story. The writing was good in the first chapter and it seemed well thought out. Then I read the other chapters...
With each subsequent chapter, it slid further and further downhill until it hit rock bottom with this installment. You need an editor. There are numerous grammar and spelling mistakes from chapter two on that detract from the story.
The story is disjointed. First, you begin with her being sold by her uncle, refusing to accept her lot, yet within minutes she's brainwashed into accepting it because of his cock??? Not believable in the least.
Second, you mention a staff, in another chapter, marked by those who came before, but did not explain that. I thought you meant for it to be placed between her teeth and perhaps you were going to have the man brand her, but next she's flirting with a guard and he's camp bitch? What?
Third, the man goes to fuck her at the end of the chapter before this then at the beginning of this chapter, he's magically finished and pulling all THIRTEENS inches from her?!?!! Thirteen??? What man is 13 inches long?? You're moving beyond fiction and into pure fantasy with this one.
Finally, he's beating her, saying she deserves a punishment but you never mention exactly what her transgression was. I stopped reading at that point.
Please get an editor, please put ALL chapters together and read from start to finish then fill in the missing details and repost. Also, perhaps give the man a heart. He doesn't want to mar her but he's torn her pussy? How? With his massive, unreal cock?? Or did he fuck her with his scimitar?
Again, your story has potential tone a good one, but you need to fix the mistakes and repost for that to happen. One star for this installment, two for the other chapters but the first, that one got four from me, which is what I give all well written stories with rare exception. That chapter deserved it. The rest didn't.
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