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Um..
Let me give you a bit of advice. True sensuality is never obvious. You must make your characters believeable, for one thing. Next, you don't need to talk about a thong going in the crack of the ass. You started off your story on a good note; your boyfriend dumping you but you weren't letting it bother you (the character). But you lost me aftre too much description and cheap details. A sexy lady with class, eventually doing something naughty, is a far sexier story than someone letting others call her a slut because she's passionate. A woman doesnt have to be a slut to love sex or be passionate. Good luck dear.
M.
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i tink she was full of herself and hats why the boyfriend left her. "here i am dress like a sex godess" is not what she said is how she said it or you wrote she said it
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