homeNon-Erotic PoetryStill the best way to goPublic Comments

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Still the best way to go

bySeattleRain©
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by Anonymous

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by jthserra12/18/05

I wanted to climb into this poem

but found myself on the outside. An intriguing discussion/argument here made for some fascinating prose, but even with some astute images (the artists angles instead of curves) it all seemed a scene you were telling the reader about instead of showing. I wanted to feel the poem more, to understand what was felt, not told about it.

jim : )

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by TheRainMan12/18/05

There are the makings

of an excellent poem here. This feels like an early draft to me...tense errors early...careless line breaks...but

there is a lot here, and some wonderful thoughts and lines that hold interest, even in this form.

Editing is called for, because this will be an excellent poem when it's done, I think.

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