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English
And the muses laugh
Guess he was just too good for his own sake.
Great story and can't wait for more from you.
Neat
Really liked the way you put this together. It was unusual and enjoyable.
Original
A very original take on an old theme...
Very well written - thank you.....
Well done
Clever and original.
Excellent
Brilliant bit of concise writing.
Extremely original
Very fun concept of a loving wife story. I loved it. Be prepared to join the hall of fame with the greats from the LW Cat.
loved it!
But now the die is cast. You are on the other side of the fence now...Hope you can take it! Only kidding, I'm sure you can.
Now try the second story...it gets harder...lol
My best regards
Ho hum---Same old--Same Old
How come it's always a cheating wife and a straight arrow husband/owner.
My wife cheated on me one and I deserved it.
You had to do it, right?
You had to go ahead and write, now you get to receive comments!
Very nice piece for your first time... brought a smile to my face.
Nice job
Well done short story
I see Poucher turns Game Keeper.
Every one is going to have to watch our backs now!
A brilliant little story and well thought out.
Are you planning any more nasty little surprises for us!
DC
Nice Twist
Hope there ia a Part II. Merry Cristmas.
Always a writer
Ah - now the fingers are on the other side of the keys. Welcome aboard wetapap. This is a good first step...but there's a long journey ahead.
A dear freind of mine once encouraged all criticism to have at least two positive and two negative points. So here it comes my friend.
+ your effort to move from reading to writing and your explanation of why.
+ your story was concise and direct, yet included lots of juicy teasers..."fatal" will get enyone's attention.
- your story was concise and direct...to concise actually!
- where's the juice? If this story was a car you were selling then you gave a us a grainy black and white image in an auto trader magazine with a couple of abbreviate descriptors. Okay you've got my interest, either sell me the car or let the car sell itself. Details, FEELINGS, dialogue!
Take every sentence in your story and try to turn it into a paragraph. Then try using dialogue and descriptions to tell us about it.
The motel is a dump - describe it. What it looks like (the place was a dingy 1940's style drive by with tiny cabins that faced a gravel parking lot), smells like (The place had an order that was hard to decribe, okay it smelled like the sewarge overflowed last week and clean-up isn't quite completed), sounds like (the new interstate went on the other side of town. This place was quiet, like a cemetary with no room.)
Alright I went a little overboard.
Great first effort weta - now I want the special effects.
Sincerely your fan
juanwildone
Decency
I first read the original story. This portion was very well written and meaningful. Thank you for this condensation of the original....very thoughtful.
Original!
Hey Wetapap: That was good, I mean really good. I wrote my first one on August of this year. Next you'll go back to the comments page a dozen times to see what everyone says. You'll get happy at some of the remarks and pissed at others. You wrote a nice piece of work and should be proud. I don't give kudos out that easy but you deserve one. Congrads from one who receives his share of remarks from both sides of the tracks
Your fellow writer and friend
DG Hear
Bravo!
Interesting outline of a story; a story that I'd like to read!
Keep up the good work!
Nice story!
I think we have a convert here! You'll enjoy the switch and be more gentle in your comments to others. It isn't always easy to read what others think of your efforts. Good start and welcome to the masochistic world of writing loving wives stories for Literotica!
WAY TO GO
WOW!!!
that is great I loved itr all the way.
iam the H20wader
Well, Well, Well
I guess the foots on the other shoe now, isn’t it!
That was an excellent piece of writing, first effort or not. Congratulations.
Gee
Way to go nice story.....enjoyed the way you put it together
Double WOW
Excellent. I agree I hope there is a part 2. I hpoe you continue to write more outlines/stories.
Roger
Good
I enjoyed your first story. I hope you write more.
Boyd
Ho Ho Ho Verry Nice for Christmas
Very nicely done, I truely enjoyed it.
Now you get to start on the next idea-- so good luck.
Looking forward to more.
Writingdragon
Very well done!
That was a fun read.
Very unusual
I've never seen the like in a story on this site. I'm amazed that you don't have a long list of stories and I do hope you write more. A new fan.
Good Stuff!!!
You wrote exactly how I feel...about writing...nice twist at the end...now if only I had the balls to write...
Giggling Wildly
This was FUN. Thank you.
Good start
Are you gonna tell us how you killed them?
I've read a bunch of your stories
wetapap:
This one was very good, humous, and very different. Thank You. Ronnie W.
So, life imitates art...
Very unique premise. The Loving Wives genre is interesting to read but the reality is rather painful.
Good job.
Old Plot - Poorly done
Not worthy of furthercomment
very good
Finally an original story. So nice not to read a story where the guy's not a billion-jillionaire who spends $100,000.000 on a PI to get the goods on a cheater.
Excellent hope you have some more stories written
Welcome to the dark side
Wetapap, congratulations on the story. It was a nice twist and different. I enjoyed it and hope to see more.
Very good
I loved it. The story in a story was great. Thanks.
A wonderful gem!
If this story was a painting, it would have been Escher’s. Just like Escher’s twirling stairs; rooms; turtles or fish so is wetapap leading you from stage one to stage two of his ‘sketches’ to his planned story, and before we know it, we are well IN the story. And we where thinking that we have not started yet! Smart!
But it’s not only smart. It’s also funny (like when he pokes fun at zealot critics) and it‘s actually also a parody of most stories in “Loving Wives”. But, as is the case with every thing else he writes, it’s done in a good hearted spirit and with kindness. You can just feel his love for all those classic stories of the genre.
Did I mention the ability to phrase things in simple language (as a very good and quite rare quality) and the ability not to take himself too seriously, even as he writes so well and unpretentiously? Go figure, maybe wetapap himself belongs to somewhere in Escher’s multistable perceptual phenomena, picking at life and at us from within or is it from the out side?
Sorry I missed this one
Welcome Wetapap to this side of the fence. You're a welcome addition and, of course, we now expect to read more. Thanks for a gem of a story.
How did I miss this?
You write extremely well and I'm honoured to have you comment on my stories. A great tale, very well done and I loved the twist.
I hope you have some more to submit,
janiexx
Hilarious, painful and well-written -
all at the same time!
Unfortunately, all too
Rare a combination...
Funny!
Ha! Ha! Very Funny!
LOL
Dorkwithoutclass. LMAO. hilarious.
Kudos
Wow
This one comes from left field. Well done
Simply delicious
I'm a simple person with simple words, so no, I am not going to search my dictionary or thesaurus to search for big words for what should be a brilliant critique...so can I just say this story was simply delicious. Hooked me in from the start, and then spewed coffee on my monitor with the ending!
love it
hilariously brilliant. Kudos!
Wickedly funny
Great twist. Wonderful story. Thank you.
*chuckles*
this is one of the best " loving wives" story i've read. great job. Kudos!
very good
it doesn't need a part2, but should you decide ... It surely is a funny one. Keep writing please. G.Belgium
:)
Life as a joke huh :) Why not.. Yoron
Okay,
Call me a sentimental moron, but all these stories sound like you've been hurt prteyy badly sometime...
Still, all that musing apart, I loved all your stories..keep writing and I'll keep reading.
ZAra
Great Story
You are either an extremely sensitive and imaginative person or you have had some very rough experiences. Besides all this you play beautiful music....
Great of Course!
You did the outline without all the details...now do the hard part. Finish the story with all the feelings and results of those feelings... Good start!
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