The story was pretty good, but the narrator-to-reader asides distracted from the scene. We don't need to be told how great the situation, if you've written the story well, that will naturally come thru.
Keep up the work I'll try not to sidetrack you so much ;)
was good man real good
that story was brilliant keep up the good work!
short, sweet, some meandering but it seemed to off set the actual tale just right in my opinion
Really nice story. I liked the moral in the end so true but not always practiced. Len
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English
good, except for the distracting asides
The story was pretty good, but the narrator-to-reader asides distracted from the scene. We don't need to be told how great the situation, if you've written the story well, that will naturally come thru.
mmmmm
Keep up the work
I'll try not to sidetrack you so much
;)
not bad
was good man real good
great
that story was brilliant keep up the good work!
pretty good
short, sweet, some meandering but it seemed to off set the actual tale just right in my opinion
Good, nay, very good
Really nice story. I liked the moral in the end so true but not always practiced.
Len
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Sharing Sisters or
More submissions by BrettJ.