All Comments on 'Kelly & Haley's Summer Ch. 01'

by Jairzinho

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  • 4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
Nice, but...

It'd benefit from a good copy editor - why does it change from third to first person narration half way through, for example?

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Poor quality!

Wow, this is rough! The spelling was awful! What a waste of space.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Great plot, but writing needs work

For one thing, you CANNOT change from third person to first person halfway through a story.

CyankeeCyankeeabout 9 years ago
Editing

Good story, but it really needs to be edited. Switching from 3rd person to 1st person is distracting. Several spelling errors also.

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