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He Fell Through a Crack in a Fingerprint

byBill Dada©
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Comments (10)
by Anonymous

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by vampiredust12/31/05

Interesting write

I like the images here esp 'smashed insect maps'which is very suggestive, but think about not using ryhme, makes the poem sound a little forced

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by LeBroz12/31/05

~~

Sounds like quite a party...

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by My Erotic Trail12/31/05

mention

this poem was mentioned in the NEW POEMS REVIEWS...

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by UBU01/01/06

grammatical

Isn't "it's" a contraction for it is or it has? Sorry to be ever the nitpicker Mr.Bill but if you intended the possessive (as you seemed to) your poem should read "has seen its day."

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by Anonymous01/02/06

interesting

images...the last line could be worded to make the poem more mysterious..although it may take some thinking to achieve the magic...still it has a mystical wonderment...I enjoyed reading it..blue

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by LuciousBi-Writes4U01/10/06

good...

good bd...
work onthe gram. stuff a bit...but good! the point is good and the wording great! overall i love it..
**HUGS**
T

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by Anonymous01/25/06

I love this title

and your poem is good, very interesting images. I didn't quite follow all of them, but I have to read it a few more times to get a good feel for it. For example, I thought the image of the hand walking was odd (and made me think of "let your fingers do the walking"), but I loved the ending that follows it.

--Angeline

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by wildsweetone01/25/06

~

i love the way you have used language in this poem!
wso

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by Epmd60706/13/07

insect maps, insect traps

Bill sir, I really like the way you mislead--i insist on reading 'transparent insect traps', there's probably some obscure cognitive reason for it, but you hit on that great dylan thomas thing now and then in your writing...i'm a fan.
-joe

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by LeBroz07/08/08

██

This poem was selected from Lit's archive of over 40,000 poems for inclusion in today's Archival Review.



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