Good Start......keep going....I like your writing style, you kept me interested.
by
Anonymous01/08/06
Doesn't Grab Attention
I am a big fan of IR stories and I encourage you to continue writing. However, an interesting story grabs the reader's attention and causes them to anticipate what is to come next. In other words, the writer needs a hook to draw the reader in and keep them reading. Some of your sentences are a bit wordy. You could really benefit from purposefully varying the lengths of sentences. Lastly, don't forget to proofread your work and/or run a spellcheck. Good luck!
by
Anonymous01/08/06
I like...
your establishing of Staci's character. I'm very interested in seeing what her Mr. Right is like.
Nicely written so far. Interracial stories, specifically Black Female/White Male stories, are my main interest on this site. I like that you're taking the time to establish the situation and main character. But you'll have to get to the plot (and of course the sex :-)) soon in order to hold our interest. I'll keep reading.
by
Anonymous01/08/06
mmm Kappa party ?
Hey, I like where the story is heading so far. Especially that you were able to set your character's personality up against the backdrop of friends. So will there be any white or asian guys at this kappa party ? Or just the fine ass brothers i'm used to seeing ;) Either way i'm sure i'll love the next parts, and as a side note the finest man i know is half Dominican and half black.
by
Anonymous01/12/06
Keep Going!
I am really interested to see how this turns out. I'm a Zeta and I have never met a white Kappa, come to think of it, I've never met a Kappa the was not Black or Bi-racial. Keep going please!
by
Anonymous08/21/08
Nice opening chapter
Very good, especially for a first effort. Definitely showed your promise.
Nothing off, nothing great but at least we know Staci's backstory and some of her friends. It sets us up for the next installment, but not much else is suggested.
English
Feedback
Good Start......keep going....I like your writing style, you kept me interested.
Doesn't Grab Attention
I am a big fan of IR stories and I encourage you to continue writing. However, an interesting story grabs the reader's attention and causes them to anticipate what is to come next. In other words, the writer needs a hook to draw the reader in and keep them reading. Some of your sentences are a bit wordy. You could really benefit from purposefully varying the lengths of sentences. Lastly, don't forget to proofread your work and/or run a spellcheck. Good luck!
I like...
your establishing of Staci's character. I'm very interested in seeing what her Mr. Right is like.
Good start
Nicely written so far. Interracial stories, specifically Black Female/White Male stories, are my main interest on this site. I like that you're taking the time to establish the situation and main character. But you'll have to get to the plot (and of course the sex :-)) soon in order to hold our interest. I'll keep reading.
mmm Kappa party ?
Hey, I like where the story is heading so far. Especially that you were able to set your character's personality up against the backdrop of friends. So will there be any white or asian guys at this kappa party ? Or just the fine ass brothers i'm used to seeing ;) Either way i'm sure i'll love the next parts, and as a side note the finest man i know is half Dominican and half black.
Keep Going!
I am really interested to see how this turns out. I'm a Zeta and I have never met a white Kappa, come to think of it, I've never met a Kappa the was not Black or Bi-racial. Keep going please!
Nice opening chapter
Very good, especially for a first effort. Definitely showed your promise.
Backstory
Nothing off, nothing great but at least we know Staci's backstory and some of her friends. It sets us up for the next installment, but not much else is suggested.
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