Why do I feel you left out the most sensual, sexy part of the story?
by
Anonymous01/08/06
Nice story, but
Good story, but its a little confusing as the author kept mixing up the names - one minute the author is married to gina, the next minute gina is married to dan, etc.
This one takes a long while to tell us that basically nothing much happens. What happens AFTER they go in the house sounds like it's going to be much more interesting. A sequel would boost this one a lot.
by
Anonymous01/08/06
Who the hell is DIANE (Caught Out In The Open)
When you write with one hand on your dick and the other flipping thru girlie mags, you won't get magic from the keyboard. The story had great potential, but you need to pay attention to what you're doing. Writing erotica is still writing. The more seriously you take it, the better it will be. I think you could be a very good contributer if you keep the writing separate from YOUR getting turned on. Remember, you're doing this for us, not for yourself.
Don't take it personally; this criticism applies to hundreds of others who use this site. But I think you can surpass most of them.
i cant wait to hear what happens inside the house, i would love to be caught like that! it made me horny as hell.
by
Anonymous01/09/06
Nice story
Again good sexy fun with some added fun later maybe?
as for confused read the story correctly and you will see dan is the author. Keep it up at least you have the courage to write wish I could.
Please write more. This was a good story and I have a feeling your future work will be even better.
by
Anonymous01/11/06
Good Job
I liked it, I happen to be one of the folks that enjoy this kind of story and NOT actually having someone else fuck your wife. I build custom rifles for myself, I let other admire them...............I'm the only one that hunts with them, should be the same as with the wife. Dan, don't let the jerks with the bad comments get you down, we know they're the ones that actually have their peckers in their hands. I think you did a good job and a couple of minor typos do not take away from the story. Thanks
by
Anonymous01/18/06
Bullshit
A shitty story of a dickless asshole that pimps out his wife. You sick motherfuckers will love this one.
by
Anonymous05/29/06
Needs Fixing
I'm assuming from your follow-up story that by Gina, you meant Diane. Also, at one point the other couple say they were offended, whereas I'm sure you meant "weren't".
by
Anonymous12/10/10
Who's Diane?
Did you change the wife's name and forget to change the title?
English
Very nice story.
I enjoyed your story. In a hopes that what it contains is true i will let it be at that. Thank you for sharing it.
And then?
Why do I feel you left out the most sensual, sexy part of the story?
Nice story, but
Good story, but its a little confusing as the author kept mixing up the names - one minute the author is married to gina, the next minute gina is married to dan, etc.
Not very effective
This one takes a long while to tell us that basically nothing much happens. What happens AFTER they go in the house sounds like it's going to be much more interesting. A sequel would boost this one a lot.
Who the hell is DIANE (Caught Out In The Open)
When you write with one hand on your dick and the other flipping thru girlie mags, you won't get magic from the keyboard. The story had great potential, but you need to pay attention to what you're doing. Writing erotica is still writing. The more seriously you take it, the better it will be. I think you could be a very good contributer if you keep the writing separate from YOUR getting turned on. Remember, you're doing this for us, not for yourself.
Don't take it personally; this criticism applies to hundreds of others who use this site. But I think you can surpass most of them.
I liked it--Screw the critics--They can't write...
.....their way out of a paper bag.
They don't even have enough pride in their writing skill to sign their comments
Don
It was a good story
Don't give up writing. Maybe take a little more time reading it out loud before you send it in. Good imagination.
great
i cant wait to hear what happens inside the house, i would love to be caught like that! it made me horny as hell.
Nice story
Again good sexy fun with some added fun later maybe?
as for confused read the story correctly and you will see dan is the author. Keep it up at least you have the courage to write wish I could.
Nice work
Please write more. This was a good story and I have a feeling your future work will be even better.
Good Job
I liked it, I happen to be one of the folks that enjoy this kind of story and NOT actually having someone else fuck your wife. I build custom rifles for myself, I let other admire them...............I'm the only one that hunts with them, should be the same as with the wife. Dan, don't let the jerks with the bad comments get you down, we know they're the ones that actually have their peckers in their hands. I think you did a good job and a couple of minor typos do not take away from the story. Thanks
Bullshit
A shitty story of a dickless asshole that pimps out his wife. You sick motherfuckers will love this one.
Needs Fixing
I'm assuming from your follow-up story that by Gina, you meant Diane. Also, at one point the other couple say they were offended, whereas I'm sure you meant "weren't".
Who's Diane?
Did you change the wife's name and forget to change the title?
Good story
I liked the story and the mistakes aren't severe but that sounds like a fun day at the lake.
Who?
Gina, Diane, Sandra? Time and Gina? Tim and Sandra? I'm confused. Are these people Mormons?
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