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good but ...
You need to edit a bit more.
Not to be cruel, but...
This story could have been written by a 12 yr. old. It's completely unimaginative, unoriginal and uninspired. I don't think writing is your strong suit. LOL:)
I'm sorry
I have to agree with the previous poster, that was terrible, unimaginative, boring and definitely needed rethinking. Try again.
Sorry, gonna agree...
The whole huge cock thing was the first tripping point, and after that it was all just dull and repetitive. And for me the dirty talking simply doesn't work, in most stories. It gets too overdone and just makes it feel completely fake and remove atmosphere.
Chin up though, have another crack!
A good start
We need more chapters of this one. Maybe they begin a regular fucking experience, time after time after time every time they get the chance? Very erotic between a knowing brother and sister that seem to really love each other, in addition to the lust.
too large too quick
18 year old 10 inch cock.totally couldn't be arsed reading the rest no doubt dad is thicker longer and lasts for an hour.
you want to keep the reader be real
did not vote
... and did not read past the "not to big not to small" sentence. The correct spelling of that particular word is too.
Please learn how to (to) spell before you write too (too) many more stories. Too (too) frustrating to (to) read.
heh it wasnt bad
Time out
Only a pathetic nerd whines like a little bitch about the misspelling of the word "too" over the internet. Get a life loser.
IT SUCKS!!!
Who in the fuck taught this fool how to spell? You can't write a decent story to save your ass! Sit back and let the real pros on this site show you how it's done, you pathetic fucking loser!
sais and family
my sis got her tubes tyied so i can still fuck her,i do my 2 aunts to and ones daughter plus married neirbors i do too i`m a slut they i`ll know i like that too. i got caught once by uncle he just watched as i slammed aunt
bad
once was bad enough but why would you post it twice are you tring to drive us crazy or are you so stupid you didn't realize you posted it twice
No credibility..................
............ conveniently just turned 18, cheerleader, squirting her "liquid". Change the record, this plot accounts for half the stories on Literotica.
orginality
actually lack of... love the story BUT as they said you covered too many SAFE areas
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