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English
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Your fist stanza is strongest because of your description of how it's not like a broken heart but more like a crushed one. I like the simile you use:
it feels more like
[...]
and run fleeing
into an ice block
that fills my chest
The rest of the poem isn't too bad.
"like it does in the movies" is good.
The rest has too much "could hurt so much - could be so hard" and "left in fear and hopelessness" and etc. I'd rather have examples of fear and hurt than be told that there is fear and hurt. (Show. Don't tell.)
instruction manual
perfect~..I always thought about writing an instruction manual for life till they come out with a hitch-hikers guide to the universe
~~
Okay ~ it's settled
It could use more work;
Doesn't dimish the impact
Still present and reminding....
acurate
very acurate portrayal Goldie
love ya,
T
First time
This is the first poetry submission I've read of yours. I am a horribly out of practice poet, but still appreciate good work. I could relate to this poem and had a strong interpretation. Whether it is superior quality is beside the point. The point is, I connected with it. It held strong meaning that applies in different ways to many people. That is what makes good poetry. Well done. :)
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