All Comments on 'Could You Help Me Unzip?'

...But confusing. There was at least once, maybe twice, where Lisa and Ella seemed to swap names in the narrative, and the use of "defiantly" where the word needed was "definitely" was jarring, pulling the reader out of the narrative. Spellcheck alone is not enough, most folks should make use of the volunteer editors just to prevent grammatical errors of this nature.

On the good side, you used names, rather than falling into the pronoun trap which makes other same-sex-sex stories so hard to read ("She kissed her on the mouth", etc).

I liked the story line and it is erotic, but there seems to be a mix up of names and it is hard to follow who is talking and when.

I really enjoyed this story but i was confused because if the top of the dressing rooms had a gap so you could talk to each other wouldnt other people using the dressing rooms hear Lisa and Ella.

I really like the topic, but can't keep up with who is talking! For future stories, please notify your audience of a new speaker by starting a new paragraph! I'm sorry to say I couldn't finish reading this one because of that...

Good story but the talking was confusing :D

I am busexual too and me and my friend Danica did almost the same exact thing last week. I tasted he cum and it was so sweet.

Omg i masturbate while readig this story. Im not lesbian but ive always wanted to try it out with a girl. It sounds really good!

well, idk if u can change stories on here but i know 4 a fact it was really confusing.. idk who wAs who..

its good but i did not no who was who but i cumed my girlfriend did to im a lesbian though my girlfriend used to be my bff since i was 7 but now shes my girlfriend

Oh my god I so want this

Omg this is so hot! ^-^ ;)

I'm straight , but I always wanted to eat out girl , for some reason.

i am straight but lesbian porn and lesbian sex turns me on. i really wanna try it once

I am straight but I wanna try lesbian sex

I am a straight girl, but lesbian porn turns me on so much. I can't even say how much I'm questioning my sexuality because I want to go down on a girl, and make her cum, and have her make me cum.

This was an aweesome story, that turned me on so much!

I'm completely straight but this was hot! Cummmmmmm

Ok I'm also into guys but this story made me cum like hell

I'm straight but I've always had tat curiosity to make a girl cumm and I would eat it...I so wanna kiss a girl and have lesbian sex with her! I just need the right time!! Plus 1 time can't hurt anyone...

I'm bi and this reminds me of my girlfriend and our

Little adventures ;)

So this is how lesbians have sex.

Hehehe, I just need to figure out what Bellend means then I'll be an educated woman. (or maybe even teenage girl)

It turns me on makIng masterbation easier!!! Oh I am so fricken wett!!!!!

This reminds me of my girlfriend and I. Only we were camping when we first had our adventure.

Got me so wet. I thought I was straight, but now I think I might be bi. Really wanna have sex with a girl now.

were can i fine me a friend like this :0)

Fuck I need some help I am so wet right now

I am sooooooooooo horny right now get me two women

Cuuuuummming

Super wet want a best friend like this

Often dream about me and my best friend (I am not lesbian but Bi and my best friends body in a swimsuit is AMAZING!!)

Love to have a best friend to do this with so wet and horny

yummmm plzzzzzz any girl free for me im a hot girl wid BIG tits and ready to sex and make ur pussy wettttttttt.........................

Wow.. made me so wet ,wish I cud taste pussy rite now

I'm so wet and playing with my pussy right now. So close to cumming

I am straight but have always found lesbian porn erotic. After reading this hugely erotic piece I am now not so sure of my sexuality because I have just cum several times whilst fantasizing about this and am now dreaming about how I can approach my best friend for similar action.

Made me incredibly wet! Love lesbian type stories and porn, it's so hot.. Thanks for the sexy story.. I need a friend to do this with!

This made me so horny! Really wanna taste some pussy after reading it!

So horny right now

wow, im soo wet after reading this.

I really need someone to help me with my pussy after reading this story

I wish my gf was here right now I am so horny after that!

Made me wet...ready to have my bff taste my pussy

So amazing like WTF... I want this to happen to me and my... Oh wait my girlfriend dumped me. Well, anyways, this was an amazing story. I want more..

Man I am so wet after reading that. I m actually rubbing my clit right now and reading the comments are making me even hornier. I really want to be ate out

I literally am rubbing my clot so much that I squirted

Holy fuck I am so wet right now I wsnt this so damn fucking bad

So wet right now...I'm rubbing my clit and riding a dildo right now. This story got me so horny and these comments get me even more wet.

I'm so wet I wish that would of happened to me

Omg I'm so wet right now I want that so bad

Couldn't stop playing with myself just cummmmed so hard

Mmmmm so wet right now

My fat pussy got so wet

so f-ing wet right now. made myself cum multiple times during this story

I'm so wet I've been wanting someone to tie me down and make me cum multiple time..

So fucking wet!!!! Mmmm, great story

That was really fucking hot. I wish that they could have used a dildo or something like that, but still...I am so wet from that. Mmm I like how you describe pussy. Love this story.

Your story is brilliant. Well thought out, nicely paced, and neatly detailed BUT BUT BUT it is let down by one omission. The omission of a spelling and grammar check; include that next time and you will achieve near perfection!

This is a wonderful fist time story soft and loving.

Too many typos