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Distance

byn_sue©
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by Anonymous

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by LeBroz01/15/06

~~

Distracting element is the
Repeat use of "distance."

Using the first stanza as an example, where you write:

Distance will not change our friendship,
You will always be dear to me.
Distance will not change my love for you,
I will love you still.

I would suggest you try something like:

Distance will not change our friendship,
You will always be dear to me;
It will not change my love for you,
I will love you still.

Follow this pattern throughout and it should be a stronger read - at least, so it seems to me.

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