by Phoenix Arrow
This story reads more like an outline for a story, rather than a story itself. I think you need to pay attention to details. Sex is more than just, "She did, he did." Sex is highly emotional, sex is highly sensational (meaning it affects the sense)
I think if you go back and add some more detail, you'll have a much better story.
It was okay, but I expected something more, after all that buildup. And saying that it was all a dream is a very weak way of ending it....... pity.