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English
I guess this
is as heavy as you want to read it. "Evidence" flows
well for me. All the pieces smooth, I just can't
figure out the puzzle. sand s.
the gravity,
the pull from
north to south
mixed with particals
a water drop
is enough to remind
and keep this thing
alive
A+, miz teacher.
curt
what evidence?
I was able to finish the poem but it didn't help me understand what in the well.... you were saying??? I read your poem
*
"you come to me on days of trancendence"
good open, followed by the crow dropping the cross, demands attention
#3 is a bit shopworn, but a nice visual
#4 blows me away, consider changing imaginary to imagined to mirror other line more closely.
#5 - like
#6 I like the use of the words you(3) coming(2) fall(2) down(2); hypnotic
#3,4,5 have hair, easy enough to put it als into #2, consider a unifying word,
*11
interesting
deep and different...very visual!
good write!
~LB~
^
I just love 'in voice-over photographic collages' Also I think you are right, 'it must be raining somewhere in the North'
ty,BD
~~
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 38,500 poems.
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