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Oh my aching feet
Unless those Mary Janes are platforms, it's not likely that a dedicated doctor to be would wear four inch heels on her first day at work, especially following around a surgeon, walking all day. The garterbelt and nylons are also out of character for such a dedicated person. She would not likely dress like a slut to make an impression on a person she doesn't know. Physicians tend to be conservative, and your young woman would want to blend in. Doesn't mean she can't be sexy in flats and panty hose, and the important factor in this opening chapter is setting up the tension that will lead to all the fun and games you have in store for these two. Unless you are after a sleaze factor with no thought to characters that have much chance of existing. I like your premise, can see how it will lead to some interesting battles, just who ends up on top?
Larry
Me Likey!!!!!
I can`t wait for the next chapter!!
great dont rush though
i think its awesome, great plot but make sure you dont rush things develop the characters, before jumping right in..but its looking very very very good!! great work!!
Interesting start
The whole garters to a medical job thing kind of weirded me out, but overall, I enjoyed the story. How interesting to be stopped in your tracks by the one you used to pick on?
One other nitpick - it was mentioned that the asshole doctor was four years older than the girl in the story, but four years older than 22 is 26, not 28. :)
Needs some polish
Good job for someone so young. But you really should pay attention to your spelling. proof reading usually helps.
i love the errors
first she's 22, 4 years younger than her "enemy" Dr. Santiago, who should be 26 but is actually 28 or who knows and who cares?
her toyota camry must get great muleage with her as "she pulled it into the parking lot. " rush hours must be hell for her!
i think i spotted a "new" when it should've been "knew" . and on and on...
great critic
"muleage" equals "mileage" ? don't complain until you edit yourself. people who live in glass houses shouldn't walk around nekkid. (sic)
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