All Comments on 'Play Things'

You've got some powerful images here, diluted with a few too many words. I've taken the liberty below to offer one possible quickie suggestion - you can tell me to cram it or play with it some more.

My heart shoots flaming arrows

to pierce men's souls;

they fall to the ground,

obey my every whim and command.

Surrounded by their groveling mass,

on hands and knees naked, adorned, and glistening;

they serve my every need,

for I am their queen of the night!

Piercing and satisfying me,

what more do I need?

"Faster and harder!" I command;

they obey as they should,

men are my playthings,

to use as I will.