All Comments on 'The Lottery Winner (B)'

by Just Plain Bob

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  • 40 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
B ENDINGS

B ENDINGS DESTROY THE POSSIBLE VALIDITY OF THE STORY SO WHY DO IT?

Nightowl22Nightowl22about 18 years ago
Whaaaaa...

Isn't there a little explanation needed here or am I expecting too much?

Simone tired of fucking around? She run outa money? She came back to the inquiring tongue? What? What?

Is he gonna be happy to take her back?? Throw her out?

Inquiring minds need to know!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
And Then You Say

get off me bitch, but thanks for the wake up. Say here's a $40.00 which should cover the office visit, then cmon back Tuesday morning after you get a doctors note and you can make a $50.00 for around the world but no kissing.

So while you left his response for us to determine, that would be mine.

peggytwittypeggytwittyabout 18 years ago
Liked the first ending better

Damn could he get both daughters and Mom.

Thanks for the story

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
wagon tongue

What the hell happened??? After I finished this story, I had to go back and check, to see that this was a J.P.B. story. I just couldn't believe that J P B, who is one of my favorites, could create something like this. I generously gave you a 50% which is like a "Mulligan" and won't hurt you, but I can't wait for you to get back on the ball.

z00timez00timeabout 18 years ago
Play Ball

Even home run hitters strike out. I think this one was a foul out.

Sorry Bob, but you will be back strong.

Len BeeLen Beeabout 18 years ago
Bad Joke

JPB, this is not you. This is no where near you. I have to suspect that either you: 1) got drunk and wrote, 2) got sober and wrote, 3) fell on your head and wrote, 4) had a nasty fight with the little lady and wrote, 5) got a piece of bad fish and wrote, 6) lost a bet and had to write, or 7) got drunk and wrote.

Whatever, try for plan C with Lottery Winner, and I will try to forget this story.

Len Bee

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
Bad but not as bad....

Short stories are the most difficult to write...

This one came off ok....

But try reading "Sarah" on the other site...geez...after 5 friggin chapters the story still stank and is really, really bad writing.

Stick to writing shorties...you have a knack for that.

But that's me.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
There are so...

many disjointed parts which do not fit together. What was the point of the story with respect to Sherri? Why did Simone leave, why did she return and what did it have to do with Ron?

SleeplessinMD

LutherTLutherTabout 18 years ago
Sorry ending to what could have been a good story

He should have kicked Simone's sorry ass out and turned his daughter into his personal slut slave.

acs_1acs_1almost 17 years ago
For Fuck's sake!

Mate, you're a fucking glutton for punishment. You appear to love it so much. Why? Why this stupid scenario again? Who gives a fuck if that stupid slut came back to you? Surely not you?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
so she had her good times?

and she used her money up on all those fine lads, maybe even they just stole her money. in an case, back a more wordly and experienced woman, and let her out the door to get even more so.

FD45FD45about 11 years ago
WTF!

So...nothing was said about the money. Nothing was said about the wife.

Nothing was said about the divorce.

What the fuck Bob? There was no thread to this story. It was story 'felt', a bunch of little fibers of unrelated material all pressed into something barely useful and weak.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbylovealmost 11 years ago
Early Tale

Same as the original with one change. Should have written another chapter adding another family member. No, I guess not.

tazz317tazz317almost 11 years ago
I THINK THE INDIAN GIVING GREEK

has returned to the fold. TK U MLJ LV NV

joln321joln321over 10 years ago
She Came Back

I Actually loved The Lottery Winner (B) I'm a real Real Romantic at heart. The man truly Loved his wife. The lottery win allowed her to try to find out what She missed by marrying her childhood sweetheart. Lots of these type marriages that happen with childhood sweethearts don't "make it" past two or three years Because they never dated anyone else. It was plain, the Children had access to Mom and kept her informed on her ex's miserable life since she left. To him the money meant nothing, not without her. This is deep Love. When She came back, She had missed him too. The story tells me that She used her Husband as a comparison to what "is" available ''out there''. She had her fling. She came back to the real thing. It's a Love story. Lots of times, The Woman is just a mere deposit dump for single men. No commitments. The Story line is believable.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
No, no no and HELL NO!

He should have thrown her off the bed. Who knows what diseases the slut has. I do have one question. Did they ever actually divorce? It isn't clear from reading the story so maybe they're still married? That would be unfortunate for him. Bad, Bob, bad.

KarenEKarenEalmost 9 years ago
No Fucking Way

Besides the trashy way she abandoned him, we once again get the old "I never had another lover" excuse.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Just roll her off onto the floor

Then ask her to leave. No way to take her back and ever trust her again. And who knows how many dicks have been in her sloppy cunt? Not good. Not good at all.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
well

I dont see how a guy could take her back.

Would need another chapter to finish that off.

Writing of her slutting about and the cold way she left doesnt set us up believe forgiveness in in the cards.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago

why would he let the bitch back in

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
HAHA!

Forget that ending. I think he kicks her ass out and slams the door.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Easy to see why this is the most popular author here

JPB just gets it done.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Alternate ending?

What fucking ending?

26thNC26thNCalmost 5 years ago
No

Nothing to like here at all.

Just_WordsJust_Wordsalmost 5 years ago
Hell no.

Sorry. You just don't have sex with the ex when she's a slut and you don't know what she may have. The man needs some self-respect.

jtwheelsjtwheelsalmost 5 years ago
Nothing says it all

Wimp ass etc

Can't get it up or keep it up

Money see doctors don't be such a? Definitely not a man with any self esteem

Joshuad2477sJoshuad2477salmost 5 years ago
What the fuck?

Ok so the first one he loses his wife who goes off to be a whore only to fuck his daughter who became a whore and with no ending I guess only once. To his whore wife leaving him to just come back to him. Wow way to make a this guy a cuckold. If I was that dude I would have to kill myself to get away from the whores. One star pure garbage

TajfaTajfaover 4 years ago
Another non ending

Can't fathom why you leave stories hanging. Was he dreaming? Was it his daughter? Was she really back and had she lost her fortune, did she have hiv? Did he just accept her back or did he throw her out? Too many questions that you should have cleared up.

RhulayneRhulayneabout 4 years ago
LEARN TO END A STORY!

You seem physically incapable of actually ending a story, like you just quit writing halfway through a paragraph and say it's good.

STOP WRITING STORIES untill you can learn what a damn ending looks like. Its pathetic.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago
See she wanted to come home because she had blown through all her lottery winnings

and needed somewhere safe and secure to come back to. She knew safe secure reliable me would not have blown the money I would have invested it.

Well I had and did quite well with my investments. I had tripled the amount of money she had originally given me.

I was still working at my high paying job as I am one of the few who actually enjoyed their work.

Did I want her back. NO I did not. After the way she acted for the years after she had left I had no idea what diseases she might have.

So what did I do. Well I am a non confrontationalist so I left. Yes I left. I quit the job I enjoyed doing bought a RV and set off into the great yonder.She did not look beautiful anymore. She saw me and burst into tears as she realised what she had lost.

SwordWielderSwordWielderalmost 4 years ago
Needs an Ending!

How did she get into the house? Didn't he change the locks on the doors? Considering that Simone now has a reputation as a slut, who knows what diseases she has. This story demands a 2nd (if not 3rd) chapter to explain what happens to him, what happens to Simone, they may reconcile or they may stay apart and he gets over his impotence, and lastly what about his daughter Sherri.

JBEdwardsJBEdwardsover 2 years ago

I liked this ending better than the one with Sherri. Five stars. ~~ JBE

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

This is a nightmare ending.

She ruins the family, destroys this poor man's self esteem....and her ONLY parting gift was SOME of her winnings. Maybe the amount she would have been forced to pay anyway due to divorce. The man suffered a deep trauma due to her complete betrayal. He has a hard time moving on, and needs a lot of therapy and time to get over it. Their mutual shared daughter is a complete mess. And what does his ex wife do? Why she kicks out her very distraught daughter after sneaking into a home she isn't welcome in.....rapes her ex husband....and then proceeds to act like everything is okay? Now the abuser is back, and the victims have to reset the clock on the time needed to heal.....if they even get that far. I dont hate the author, nor the set-up to this story.....but I absolutely hate this ending.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Toss the slut out to the curb

Diecast1Diecast1almost 2 years ago

Nice story. I like it. AAAA++++

dirtyoldbimandirtyoldbimanover 1 year ago

Part 1 with the younger, sexier daughter was better.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Bang bang bang bang

[ugh... why do people bother me when I'm asleep?]

Bang bang bang bang

[pulls up door shade. It's Simone]

I can't get in - my key doesn't work.

That's because I changed the locks.

[gives a single finger salute and goes back to bed]

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

What a waste of 10 minutes reading this crap

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Just a Dirty Old Man (of course I have been one since I was thirteen)who likes to write about the things that I've seen and been exposed to in my life. There is a little bit of me in almost all of my stories and in some of them there is quite a lot. I leave it to the reader ...

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