good indeed, .... ur thinking line was enormously sweet and deeply enthralling... the first kiss thing, the first time - great... a picture of harmless true love propounded from childhood is always great to behold.... but, this story is just good, not very good or anything.... this is sort of the story with great promise to be something literally great and bang! that doesn't happen for some unthinkable reasons.... ur story lacks credibility... the build-up was really poor... it was way way too fast... is this really possible that the first day they met after ten years, they get to make love at that very day... incredible.. they were sweet friends in their childhood , not lovers... love is something which needs to grow, and well love at first sight thing can excuse u now... but again, childhood friends must have time to feel that sort of feelings towards each other on the very first day... and u did what? u got them in a makinglove scene on the very first day...? it's not like, two lovers are meeting after a long time.. this is like two close buddies meeting... i think, u r pretty young and imaginative in thinking quickly... as this is ur first story, i understand the dillemmas.... and don't get me wrong... i am captivated by ur thinking... very few ones here can feel what u put down.. i just hope u wouldn't have ruined a great one by making it a very hasty and tentative one.... understood? now, give me another story, long, wellbuilt, truly passionate and of course it should like urs... got it? get to work, bud.... my eyes are awaiting........... and by the way, i would really appreciate if u mail me with my questions....
English
hey you.....
good indeed, .... ur thinking line was enormously sweet and deeply enthralling... the first kiss thing, the first time - great... a picture of harmless true love propounded from childhood is always great to behold.... but, this story is just good, not very good or anything.... this is sort of the story with great promise to be something literally great and bang! that doesn't happen for some unthinkable reasons.... ur story lacks credibility... the build-up was really poor... it was way way too fast... is this really possible that the first day they met after ten years, they get to make love at that very day... incredible.. they were sweet friends in their childhood , not lovers... love is something which needs to grow, and well love at first sight thing can excuse u now... but again, childhood friends must have time to feel that sort of feelings towards each other on the very first day... and u did what? u got them in a makinglove scene on the very first day...? it's not like, two lovers are meeting after a long time.. this is like two close buddies meeting... i think, u r pretty young and imaginative in thinking quickly... as this is ur first story, i understand the dillemmas.... and don't get me wrong... i am captivated by ur thinking... very few ones here can feel what u put down.. i just hope u wouldn't have ruined a great one by making it a very hasty and tentative one.... understood? now, give me another story, long, wellbuilt, truly passionate and of course it should like urs... got it? get to work, bud.... my eyes are awaiting........... and by the way, i would really appreciate if u mail me with my questions....
Good
What a day for a daydream!
Boyd
school years
Hay Bud, you need to let the rest of the world know what grades 1 & 2 are down in the penial colony.
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