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Does Honesty Pay? Of Course Not.

byhansbwl©
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Comments (68)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous03/04/06

What the fuck

What the hell is going on these days. Why the fuck write a story if you are not going to finish it.

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by Anonymous03/04/06

i think writer are going to half school now

because they are half way writing now.write half a story and you gruss what to do next.it sucks when a writer do that.so of the stories are crap and then they want you help.

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by Anonymous03/04/06

Finish it

Finish the story please

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by Anonymous03/04/06

UNFINISHED AND ALWAYS WILL

Title of comment says it all.

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by Risq_00103/04/06

This story is hard to comment on.

First, you did the one thing that I personally always hated. You had the wife force the husband to watch her cheat on him when she never was forced to do that. I mean she wasn't sitting through a command performance so I have never understood that form of revenge.

Second, the wife screwed him over and the way you have 'implied' with the continuation that she's getting ready to do it again. She knows he's innocent, but she plans to let him think he was guilty? Yep that always fun.

To be honest it would be better for you to write your own stories, but I would like to say this by borrowing a statement from another poster from before: If you want the reader to accept the wife and what she's done don't dig her such a large hole by her actions its impossible too. And for me thats just what you've done. She's screwed up royal and right now the husband is the wronged party. He's friends screwed him over, his wife screwed him over twice, and by the looks of things at the end of the story she's getting ready to do it again. No, she's totally unlikeable right and in a pretty big hole.

Alot of the reconcilation crowd will do the "He had to forgive her at all cost", and that makes me wonder if alot of them didn't cheat on their former mates and are upset that they weren't forgiven. The other side of the coin will be the heavy revenge crowd of "Throw the "b" out in the street with no money." I personally like a good medium. But, in this case I really can't see it happening, if the story is to remain plausible. But regardless you should finish your story and give it the ending that you felt it might have had.

Just don't be surpised when folks jump you no matter which way you go.

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by Anonymous03/04/06

Limp-dick writing

Kind of a limp-dick writer--does the foreplay but can't actually get it up when it's time to finish things.

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by jaggers005303/04/06

say what?

this trend of leaving unfinished stories is getting very stale. in the past i've always tried to give a honest,fair critique of the stories written by amatuers and offer thanks for their efforts. it's getting harder to maintain that stance.

also author,if your not going to finish your story and expect someone else to do it,i think you've given up your right to determine the outcome.

just my opinion,
don

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by Minigales03/04/06

That Was Mean

You should have said you would not finish the story. I would not have read it.

Let me tell you something. The mastery of the story is the end. I am sure you ready many stories that were written by writer much more talented than you and they screwed up the end. It is all in the end. Anybody can start the most complex story, but very few can pull it off to an end that makes sense.

My take on what Keith should do: It does not matter what happened or what did not happen. His wife was too dumb to keep. If he is normal, when she comes home, he should say after she releases him, "Leave immediately or die." It should not matter what she says. She is a moron. Morons are dangerous to themselves and others, the closer the more.

There is not much left for anybody to write an end that can keep a reader's interest while not being wimpy.

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by Anonymous03/04/06

crap

ill finish it ...they tell the wives of all the guys ...he fucks all them ...sends them the video of him fucking their wives ..plus his wife lets him fuck who ever he wants for a year to make up for her stupidity...maybe in that time he can find a good woman...hope his ex friends love watching him fuck their wives as much as he did ...give them a permanent limp dick...by the way he gets ass from all of them ..oral ...and the right to sell their pics for profit..ill vote if you ever finish a story

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by Anonymous03/04/06

Ok Now Get On With The Rest Of The Story

NOT A NICE THING TO DO !!!

The natives are now very restless and will soon torch everything plus I have the Matches!!!

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by Anonymous03/04/06

great

Waiting on next installment. This is very good.

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by Anonymous03/04/06

No one but you should finish this story. Others

can write alternative endings but it's your fucking story. FINISH IT DAMN IT!

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by Anonymous03/04/06

could have been a good storry...

...if you had finished it.

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by gizzmo30103/04/06

good

good but please finish it

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by peggytwitty03/04/06

Good story BUT!

Risq_001 has said just about all I would want to say. Though I don’t necessarily agree with why some people like reconciliation or divorce and I also personally understand things going either way by how the story is built and the characters portrayal.
I am getting tired of writers not finishing stories they have thought of. I just don’t understand the reason for this. Is it you are tired of taking criticism for a type of ending? Are you trying to inspire someone, as it doesn’t inspire your readers that’s for sure? Please remember some like me are not writers and maybe I’m to dimwitted to feel fulfilled by a half told story.
Please finish your story and then offer others to submit an alternative ending.
Your writing is very good and I have to give you a 5/100 for the effort as I’ve qualified my angst at the unfulfilling part with my statement above.
With regards
Peggytwitty

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by michaelww03/04/06

good story

Its good but it needs to be finished, way to many unanswers questions.. And are there any paybacks to the people that played the joke that lead to this????

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by Anonymous03/04/06

Speaking of morons Minnygale

Go look in a mirror.

Nice plot but not well done and a terrible 'ending'

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by KOLKORE03/04/06

Put your twist on the formula!

I have read quite a few very similar versions of ‘revenge by mistake’ or ‘tricked to cheat’ stories. The wife’s lack of trust; her disproportionate reaction; the ritualistic humiliation of the husband by disabling him and forcing him to witness the wife’s revenge in one way or another; even the choice of ‘friends’ as partners for the scheme, are all elements which you always find in this ‘genre’ (as in your story). It’s ok if you have to add your own new twist. What could I call ‘your twist’? Sticking to partial or full disclosure? Not finishing the story? I am afraid I need more...

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by Anonymous03/04/06

I've written the next chapter

and I'll be submitting it today or tomorrow.

Like many others, I felt that the story cried out for a continuation--so I have taken hansbwl up on his offer.

Look for my chapter in a few days.

ohio

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by louguy3503/04/06

No Ending...No Score!

I second what Risq, Minigales, Peggytwitty, and several others have said or implied. If you can't write an ending...don't write the story!

It seems that not all would-be writers understand that a story has three parts: Beginning, middle and ending. To the extent a writer cannot understand that, he/she cannot be a good author.

In this case, hansbwl probably had a notion about a story, but no real plot. (Once again, a plot has all three elements) It is usually an indication that a writer is lacking in imagination, talent, or organizational writing skills when they try the "cute" approach of leaving the construction of the ending to the "dear reader." I have always thought it is more laziness than anything else.

If hansbwl has a new or unique ending to this "forced to watch" revenge story and chooses to write it I will apologize to him. Otherwise, the "zero" score stands, and I wish I could give a negative score.

Cheers!

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by Davefo03/05/06

How many comments are missing?

I have written five or six comments, then erased all but one. I submitted it, but it never showed up. See if this
one makes it.

I also sent a negative email to our writer. BUT I gave him
my email address to respond. He hasn't yet, but we have to
understand the writer's have a life too.

I would like to respectfully mention that most stories, in order to be called a story have a beginning, middle and ending. I would be the first to tell you I am "concrete
sequential" and even "anal" in my approach to life, but to
me, it is NOT a story without an ending.

I went back to H2o's "What Now" where he also challenged the
readers to write their own ending. THE MAJOR DIFFERENCE TO
ME IS THAT HE TOLD US UP FRONT WHAT HE HAD DONE. I have
no problem with that. BE HONEST with us.

And why did you dump my other comments? I didn't think they
were that harsh.

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by Davefo03/05/06

My third comment on this story

My criticism should be aimed at this TYPE of writing. Not the
writer himself.

Put another way, this writer is a good writer. I think he has
talent, but lately it does seem some writers are bored or
something, so they ask us to finish it.

I already wrote my own ending. I am happy with it.

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by Anonymous03/05/06

Gee, aren't you cute...

The "author" plays a trick on the readers! Sucks them into reading this piece of shit, then pulls the rug out. Ha ha ha. Boy are we dumb.

No story, Zero vote. It deserves a negative.

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by charleybear03/05/06

Here's The Sad Thing

This story has so much potential. As it has been said, this is similar to some other revenge type stories. A few may have been mentioned. "Shannon Gets Her Revenge" is another that comes to mind. In that story, the author carried it out for an extended time and really completed it.

The potential here is just dropped. I am an author (and yes I have gotten good and bad reviews too) and I am able to write my own ending to your story in my mind. Frankly, I don't want to be condescending to anyone, but there are people who are not able to do that and this type of story is awful for them to read. Do them a service and write endings to your stories.

And yes, I encourage all authors to complete stories. It does tend to get frustrating. JPB, I mean you too. hahaha

Thanks for your effort author, in all this it is appreciated.

Charleybear

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by Anonymous03/05/06

There Was Nothing to Like About This Story

No passion, no romance, no erotic descriptions of sex, no interesting characters.

What were you hoping to accomplish with this story?

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by Anonymous03/05/06

Bullshit

You are a dumb fuck and you posted a shitty story.

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by Harryin VA03/05/06

what a sad pathetic story

who gives a fuck about the author?

why do the authors here write this shit? to show that woman are over reactive whores and morons? well like DUH!!!! I mean istn this a given !?

The 911 cell phone thig makes NO sense... after the 3rd fuck why not call for help?

why will the husband when he gets free not beat this whore wife of his to near death? Most men as well as I CERTAINLY would

Didnt the wife ever both after 2 or 3 weeks talking to JUDY?

God almighty this story sucks moose cock covered in shit

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by librarian_jim03/05/06

Honesty wasn't Keith's mistake

Having Susan for a partner was. The writing isn't bad, but there are a lot holes in the plot. Judy should have been able to assure him that nothing had happened, and Tim should have know that the truth would come out--I can't imagine Jane being too happy with what he did. And I've never understood why in this sort of story the wife expects the husband to accept double and triple payback. My low score is due to the copout ending.

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by Anonymous03/06/06

Poor Keith

Needs an ending......how about, Keith gets free, Keith finds out, Keith throws his whore wife out without a thing, Keith beats Tim nearly to death, cuts Tims cock off and shoves it up his ex-wife's ass. After covering it with fire ants. I love happy endings!

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by sherlock4003/06/06

Well, let me see. How to finish.

She releases her husband. He immediately seizes the video tape for evidence. She tries to tell him why she reacted while downplaying her own role in it. He doesn't listen to anything she has to say as he packs a few items and leaves for a motel. He gets a lawyer for a divorce from an over-reacting woman who decides that fucking around, oops, I mean "punishing" her husband is the proper thing to do to someone who was obviouly too drunk to perform and should have known that.
Now, was that so hard? Why didn't you do it.

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by Anonymous03/06/06

Hey author

Fuck you and your half-a-story too!

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by Anonymous03/11/06

the result

after a few days of sleeping in seperate rooms and silence, he visits his frinds wives and tells the he is having a party that night, and when the get there he has a supprise for their husbands? but they must not tell them, it is a vidio and the must see the mesage at the end, but if they have to go before the end. he is sendig a copy to them by messanger.that night when they all arrive his wife goes white but his frinds do not seem to worry, he then starts the vidieo and leaves.
at the end he comes on the screen and says that this all happened because of some drunken flurting, and that after he passed out on the coutch there was no way he could have found judy, let alone do any thing (if his wife told him) he says that this was done by his so called frinds. and though judy was willing said that he loved his wife to much to brake her trust. and because he had been honist and trusting this is what happened. so he did not want to see his so call frinds again, and they could sort their own mess out and if their wives wanted any revenge of their own, he would be at judys for the next week or so and that he was a lot better equiped than any of his so called frinds. and as for his cheating wive he would see what they could sort out when he came back!!!!


if he came back????

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by Anonymous03/18/06

copy?

I wouldn't call it plagiarism because most stories have similar elements , but this is so similar to; "June Gets Even","Hildy" and "Revenge Thy Name Is Pat" just to name a few that it has a very familiar ring to it. well written though. the Ct. Yankee

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by bornagain12/07/06

divorce of the wife

He should divorce her for not trusting him he knew he didnt have sex with judy but the snob wife had no trust in him so she should get the punishment she deserves.
pat
Atlanta,Ga

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by Anonymous07/07/09

You write very well and ...................

.....have imaginative plots to your stories. Actually, this story's plot is so good that another author re-wrote it in 'Loving Wives.' What you should endeavor to do in future compositions is write more detail and correspondingly longer stories. Thank you for your stories. RAG

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by Anonymous10/27/09

lazy author with no imagination

story is just childish... every person in it would be looking over their sholder expecting to be killed at any minute... which is why NO ONE DOES THIS CRAP! hansbwl we're left beleiving that you're either an ASS who just wants to piss off readers... or you're a fucking moron who has absolutely no concept of human psychology and behavoir... either way, I don't give a shit. Please go away

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by bazemorelarry02/26/10

ending to story

I have only one comment why in the hell can't you finish a great story like this why leave it up in the air do you not have the ability to do this . I think he should walk out and leave her and start to get revenge on his so called friends as soon as possible and then he can find some one that really loves him try again thanks for the stories Larry Bazemore Highlander

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by RePhil08/12/10

Hopeful

That someone can complete this story and give the guy his balls back

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by vietvet09/02/10

Story:

What story??????????????????????????????

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by devildog2611/12/10

Willfull Suspension of Disbelief

I read the two parts back-to-back. Part 1 was less than satisfying. It is a good story just a not very satisfying ending. Part 2 brought the needed closure. Only problem now is I want to know what happened to the characters as life progressed.

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by DWornock08/20/11

I don't know that I like it.

But I believe it is worth the 5***** rating I gave it.

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by NKen06/21/12

Well....

i believe that the husband is no longer cuffed to the bed and has packed his things, then left and divorced her! As revenge he has chopped off his friends genitals and served them up on a platter where they would have to eat them for a chance of an ambulance being called before they bled to death! ;)

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by Tavadelphin06/26/12

Simple answer - she is done

You cannot fix a problem with an overblown reaction - she thought she was now the boss and could do as she pleased and he would be allowed to - maybe - enjoy her if - he was good enough - nope all done now -

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by cantbuymy07/04/12

if you get something like this

you make copies, post it on the net and send copies to everyone she knows, including work and friends and family and chruch and when she moves away you find out and do it all over again. hell you make copies and put it into the mailboxes of everyone within a square mile - and dont forget to actually name everyone and you wife too.

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by kansasjack07/31/12

Cop out

I hate stories like this. It is almost as if the author doesn't know how to write the ending or the author doesn't want to displease anyone. If I wanted to write my own ending, I would just start writing my own stories.

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by Bfreetorun11/01/12

Fuck you, I read to be entertained.

I don't like open ended stories or guessing games. So, again, fuck you.

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by Drbeamer333306/09/13

Loved it

A great twist at the end. I hope this continues.

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by betrayedbylove08/16/13

Damn

What is this need to have extreme revenge sex when you believe you were being cheated. Notice I didn't specify gender as I do not believe in double standards. Honesty? Not in this tale. Where's the sequel?

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by ariesgirl08/16/13

I don't know about anyone else but I can tell if I had sex afterwards. I'm sure the bed would hold some evidence or both parties may have the other's bodily fluids on them or Judy's vagina might feel a bit tender.

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by zed008/17/13

Lame

Are you too lazy to finish the story, or do just lack the talent and creativity?
It's a good thing that "Finishthedamnstory" decided to help you out.
I will be reading his COMPLETED story next.

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