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Hmmm
I like your thoughts here, just sounds a bit more like a letter. I think a bit of editing, would make a difference. The imagery is great. We know where the reader stands, and can see it unfolding. Very powerful thoughts. I hope I am being helpful and not a smartypants. Stick around, read and write everything, it gets better. * Smiles *
even though....
it reads like a diary entry, it's real. one has to like that. maybe for example in the area of being taken for granted, you could elaborate on how it feels - like for instance, the time that is spent picking up after you, or maybe the time you called and i stopped everything i was doing to come and get you in the worst possible snowstorm. simply examples or ideas. nevertheless i liked it. we all need helpful input....even i do too and it's always important to get feedback...don
nice write
It is not the perception of others but the examination of one's self, good poem
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