In the first installment you have her hearing Tim yet this appears to be totally missing from this chapter, shame, as I enjoyed this but can only give it 2 because of the apparent error.
Your plots are the best because they are believable (most of the time) and the protagonist is usually an intelligent reasonable man. The only issue with these stories is the idea that these guys have no idea what is coming. In my experience, cheaters are emotionally withdrawn people. They may fake it, but they are really all there. In fact, I believe that many of them are sociopaths. They have the ability to fake emotions, but they are simply manipulators. Once they are discovered it is imperative to get away from them as fast as possible.
Brilliant idea at the beginning to get the tape. The last line is so true. While the first part may lead one to think honesty doesn't pay, in the end it did. His marriage might have ended, but he escaped a miniacal bitch. In the long run he is better off.
Had no problem imagining an appropriate conclusion to this tragedy. Also enjoyed the twist in the sequel where Hubby had the foresight to gain control of the tape, thus the entire war! Tim's public bragging to some OTHER friends (not 'fellow perps') within Sweetie's hearing was a stupid potential self-exposure, but necessary for Sweetie to find out her premise was way off! Very BIG coincidence, and at just the right time to be wrong!
Forgiven for finally doing what anyone that call themselves an author is required to to
And that's doing the basics of writing. You know, not being lazy, and actually finishing a story before posting, even if the ending was rushed and unimaginative. Not forgiven for your condescension, just because ALL readers want authors to finish their own work! We don't lack imagination, but we don't want to come up with endings for lazy writers who can't be bothered! If the reader has to come up with plots and endings, then why do we need you?
It is what it is, a fantasy fun read, many in their criticism of stories here are over critical, they are looking for a great literary work. Well when we read for free we do not have the right to expect that, it's good entertainment in varying degrees. This brought a smile to my face.
I read this again and it hits the mark for me - again. Another word for love is care. The protagonist realizes that his wife does not really care for him. She cares for her own ego. He is just a vehicle for her to gain the rest of the items on her ego list. That being: a husband, a home, children, monetary support, ect. While with some justification it can be said that men marry for steady sex she, like many other women she married to enslave a man to do her bidding. When it looked like he might have slipped away for a night, she decided to punish her slave. Sadly, we do not punish those we care for. We treat them with respect, even if we are disappointed and angry at them. Her actions betrayed her feelings. Thank God there were no kids to be hurt in this story!
“I love you so much I wanted to scare you so you would never do anything like what you did to this woman Judy, ever again." – First of all, she didn’t KNOW he did anything, and in fact now knows he did NOTHING! Second even if he DID have a drunken fling with Judy, how does her DELIBERATELY fucking THREE of their friends equate?
It didn't start with him being honest it started with him dry humping Judy all night. If it's not something you'd do in front of your spouse then it's wrong. If he had acted like a loving husband at the beginning then he wouldn't have ended up being put in bed with a slut. A slut who knew he was carried to bed with him but didn't tell him. Why would she tell him later on the phone, seems to me she would have still messed with him over it.
His wife had every reason to believe he betrayed her. Was her reaction over the top, sure. His so called friends are who did the real betraying. If he didn't get that, if he was unwilling to admit his own guilt then the wife is probably way better off without him. Cause next time he might not have passed out before going to bed with a Judy. It was only going to be a matter of time before he really cheated on her.
Left my comments there. Short version, she had utterly betrayed him. She thought she could run the show and punish him with no regards. She broke the the trust of not only her marriage but the other three as well.
His "dry humping Judy all night" was hardly justification for what was done to him, and if you really believe that assholes like Tim and the others wouldn't have STILL played their "joke" on him if he had been more discreet with Judy then I have a bridge in Brookyln that you might be interested in. These guys took advantage of Susan's over-reaction to their "joke" to cheat on their wives with a good/best friend's wife. To think that they needed a "reason" like his dancing with Judy to do it is naive at best!
I was terribly, terribly upset with your first version. Now, with this chapter, I don't need any further details. I would rather use my imagination to figure out any loose ends. I see four divorces as a result of a prank and an over-the-top revengeful, dominating wife. Good save, hansbwl.
English
Yes, good ending
Yes, good ending.
You should have checked you original ending
In the first installment you have her hearing Tim yet this appears to be totally missing from this chapter, shame, as I enjoyed this but can only give it 2 because of the apparent error.
You did the best thing although you should have screwed up your "friends".
I'm sure that he could have thought of something else. Always lie from now on, chump.
The best stories
Your plots are the best because they are believable (most of the time) and the protagonist is usually an intelligent reasonable man. The only issue with these stories is the idea that these guys have no idea what is coming. In my experience, cheaters are emotionally withdrawn people. They may fake it, but they are really all there. In fact, I believe that many of them are sociopaths. They have the ability to fake emotions, but they are simply manipulators. Once they are discovered it is imperative to get away from them as fast as possible.
Loved it
Brilliant idea at the beginning to get the tape. The last line is so true. While the first part may lead one to think honesty doesn't pay, in the end it did. His marriage might have ended, but he escaped a miniacal bitch. In the long run he is better off.
Don't blame him at all. I think Keith's revenge was better then going out and screwing around.
Liked the prelude...and the sequel
Had no problem imagining an appropriate conclusion to this tragedy. Also enjoyed the twist in the sequel where Hubby had the foresight to gain control of the tape, thus the entire war! Tim's public bragging to some OTHER friends (not 'fellow perps') within Sweetie's hearing was a stupid potential self-exposure, but necessary for Sweetie to find out her premise was way off! Very BIG coincidence, and at just the right time to be wrong!
Much Better
I'm still going to read "Finishthedamnstory's" ending to see if he improved your story at all.
Thanks For Sharing****
Nice clean-up good ending.
That's how must be...
A writter must always finish his story, that's what I think...This was a mild end....but a good one...
ending
I think there could be a little more to the ending here. like what happened after the video and what happened to the husbands
Good ending to a hanging story
I liked it
Forgiven for finally doing what anyone that call themselves an author is required to to
And that's doing the basics of writing. You know, not being lazy, and actually finishing a story before posting, even if the ending was rushed and unimaginative. Not forgiven for your condescension, just because ALL readers want authors to finish their own work! We don't lack imagination, but we don't want to come up with endings for lazy writers who can't be bothered! If the reader has to come up with plots and endings, then why do we need you?
What It Is
It is what it is, a fantasy fun read, many in their criticism of stories here are over critical, they are looking for a great literary work. Well when we read for free we do not have the right to expect that, it's good entertainment in varying degrees. This brought a smile to my face.
wrapped up nicely
now to see how others thought it should end
Read it Again
I read this again and it hits the mark for me - again. Another word for love is care. The protagonist realizes that his wife does not really care for him. She cares for her own ego. He is just a vehicle for her to gain the rest of the items on her ego list. That being: a husband, a home, children, monetary support, ect. While with some justification it can be said that men marry for steady sex she, like many other women she married to enslave a man to do her bidding. When it looked like he might have slipped away for a night, she decided to punish her slave. Sadly, we do not punish those we care for. We treat them with respect, even if we are disappointed and angry at them. Her actions betrayed her feelings. Thank God there were no kids to be hurt in this story!
Revenge can be sweet
The husband got revenge against his cheating slut and his former friends. Don't get much better than that.
Thought
“I love you so much I wanted to scare you so you would never do anything like what you did to this woman Judy, ever again." – First of all, she didn’t KNOW he did anything, and in fact now knows he did NOTHING! Second even if he DID have a drunken fling with Judy, how does her DELIBERATELY fucking THREE of their friends equate?
It started with him acting like a dick
It didn't start with him being honest it started with him dry humping Judy all night. If it's not something you'd do in front of your spouse then it's wrong. If he had acted like a loving husband at the beginning then he wouldn't have ended up being put in bed with a slut. A slut who knew he was carried to bed with him but didn't tell him. Why would she tell him later on the phone, seems to me she would have still messed with him over it.
His wife had every reason to believe he betrayed her. Was her reaction over the top, sure. His so called friends are who did the real betraying. If he didn't get that, if he was unwilling to admit his own guilt then the wife is probably way better off without him. Cause next time he might not have passed out before going to bed with a Judy. It was only going to be a matter of time before he really cheated on her.
Read Ohio's sequel
Left my comments there. Short version, she had utterly betrayed him. She thought she could run the show and punish him with no regards. She broke the the trust of not only her marriage but the other three as well.
Second time through...
Thanks for the offering.
@cindycbegood
His "dry humping Judy all night" was hardly justification for what was done to him, and if you really believe that assholes like Tim and the others wouldn't have STILL played their "joke" on him if he had been more discreet with Judy then I have a bridge in Brookyln that you might be interested in. These guys took advantage of Susan's over-reaction to their "joke" to cheat on their wives with a good/best friend's wife. To think that they needed a "reason" like his dancing with Judy to do it is naive at best!
would really like a 3rd part to know what happened with susan and the of the wives a;ong with the ex friends.
Fitting End
I was terribly, terribly upset with your first version. Now, with this chapter, I don't need any further details. I would rather use my imagination to figure out any loose ends. I see four divorces as a result of a prank and an over-the-top revengeful, dominating wife. Good save, hansbwl.
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