Does Honesty Pay? Yes It Does.

OK!!!!!!!!!!! Now there you go good ending

It ended like it should have. Thanks for doing that for your fans.

Weak

This story needs work. The idea was good but the execution was weak. The dialog didn't feel real and the story flow wasn't believable.

NOPE

You rushed the story. It had a good premise and you were to lazy to develop it. You tried to tied it together and basically told (not showed) the story at 100mph. You didn't give us any emotional content. You didn't give us a resolution. You wasted what could have been a good story.

i agree with the before comment

was rushed ... a very good start ...needs fleshing out

Lighten up readers

Look, the author considered it finished the first time. If this ending seems a little "rushed", remember, he considered it finished before. He added this to please his readers, not because it was his original vision. You very rarely get that kind of extra service anywhere in this old world anymore. To hansbwl, I say thank you, the ending was very good, especially in light of why it was written! I will look for your name on future stories. Thanks again,
The Snipe

As it Should Be

YES!!! At last an author who finished a story as it should be.

Surprise

I thought the first story was fine on its own. All you did with this second part was open yourself up for more whining. Now every one will want to know what happened to Susan when the other wifes got done looking at the tape. Satisfy yourself, offer to share and to hell with those who whine.

From bad to worse...

Your first story was a good idea, but patheticly executed with piss poor dialogue and contrived situations. Then you took the lazy way out and used the tired "leave it up to the readers' imagination" ending, which ruined the story completely.

Now you submit a second chapter, which you begin by insulting your readers for "not having the imagination" to see where your story was headed, instead of acknowledging that YOU were too fucking lazy to finish what YOU started. Then you give us more of the same, piss poor dialogue and contrived situations. Now if that weren't bad enough, you then give us another lazy, pathetic non-ending. Also what was the point of asking for forgiveness and then declaring that "this is definitively the end." The word is "definitely" and if you have to tell us that the story is finished, then it's not finished.

You had a golden opportunity to write a terrific story and you squandered it with your ineptitude as a writer.

Sorry for the inconvenience

I’ll admit I’m one of those dimwitted readers who requested an ending, and now I’m sorry I did. As the one commenter said you feel so put upon that you stated:

“In my mind the story had an ending, but it seems that the readers did not have the imagination to se that this is what happened when Susan came home:”

Now contrary to Mr. Hansbwl statement that we should have seen his story conclusion was all there was and he would do everyone a wearisome favor and spell it out for an unimaginative audience. I thank Ohio for writing a very well done ending (Does Honest Pay? The Aftermath) that showed some thought and there was even emotion in the characters dialogue.


Since I’m one of those people who doesn’t care very much for going to the ball game and leave in the latter part of the game so I can imagine the outcome will be what I want it to be. I guess, I will just say thank you Mr. Hansbwl for doing me the Crybaby (and 90% of the people who commented) such a enormous favor of telling me how this Pulitzer prize winning story comes out, as I guess I couldn’t see there was only one ending possible. Thank you so much for endangering your health and staying up night and day finishing it.

With no regards
Peggytwitty

I liked your ending

Would have liked a recording of the 3 women after seeing the video, but your ending was fine. It is time for him to move on. Also, JPB gave you good advice...

We never learn what Susan decided in the car

I for one could not imagine how Susan hoped to apply her father's advice; I didn't see any way she could salvage the situation she had created, but the ending of the first part implies that she thought she could salvage the situation with judicious withholding of the whole truth. From a purely stylistic viewpoint I'd have preferred it if we could have seen her at least try.

Like just plane bobie said

always leave the male humiliated and helpless unless you want to be respected.

Well, I respect your follow through as well as the initial story. I felt it needed a conclusion for it and your sake as a new writer.

And closings are tougher than what preceeds it wouldn't you say. Each new writer struggles in that last act but eventually it gets better.

So, try to build on this one and try to grow with each new effort. Having at least one character be someone we can relate to and respect is critical to your future credibility especially in the theme of marital consequence. Life always deals consequence and to avoid it weakens the story and you as a credible writer.

Please consider another story to both entertain us and grow with. Thanks Again - With high Regard

Good

Can't please everyone, so please yourself. However, be forewarned that many of the readers of this genre usually don't like "open endings".

Boyd

VERY POOR WRITING

First,I agree that if the story was complete the way you ended it in your mind, then you should never have written a sequel. I agree with everyone else on that! I was actually looking forward to seeing what you had in mind here.

BUT, if you take the time to write an ending, you should have the decency of not offending the readers, insulting the readers, and then pissing all over the readers, (although I am sure many here would enjoy that) by writing....no wrong word...contriving such bullshit. The dialogue was stunted, the plot was all over the place, and the characters were at best cardboard set pieces you injected just to have something to bounce your verbiage off of.

If this is the best you can do, please, don't waste your time or ours writing anything else. You had a good beginning and just "pissed" it all away.

C

What an end!

You said: "In my mind the story had an ending, but it seems that the readers did not have the imagination to se that this is what happened when Susan came home:"

It could be the language, but what you called imagination, the rest of us call psychic powers. If I am not sure about the language, I am not very sure about the culture, but in most cultures around the world what you said is very insulting to your readership out of all things.

What you did was messed up. If you really thought your readers' imagination should fill the gap about this end, you should have gone one more step and let their imagination work out the start: you should not have written the story beginning to start with.

If you compare this end to what Ohio wrote, you will see how pathetic it is. If I were you, I would have left it at what Ohio did. You just screwed it all up.

If you really want to be a good writer, read all the feedback here and put it to good use. Good luck.

I liked it!

I think that your writing is improving with each story you write Hans. Be true to yourself hon and well you know what they say....."Fuck em if they can't take a joke."....smiles sweetly. Did i just say that?......angel.

good

very good ending thanks

second the last poster: good ending

ending or closure to a story is not, should not, always about elephant tears cascading down the cheater's cheeks and the cheated spouse having to say, "Oh, honey, come here, I still love you so much but you just torn my heart to pieces; but just give me a few days, I'll get over it" and the cheating spouse smile broadly and started taking off her [his] clothes and then they have wild incredible sex, according to one of them [or the author]!, and that's it!

that's stupidity, not ending!

and ending/closer to a story or a chapter of one's life is to think about something deeply and then make a decision and stick to it, despite what the other person's trying to do via tears, emotions, and other manipulative things.

now, that doesn't mean we don't want reconciliation; if possible, that's great. but the person doing the wrong must, if true reconciliation is ever/truly possible, come clean WITHOUT the unsuspecting spouse and confess truthfully, "Peter/Susan, on an impulse, I have done something terrible, ugly, painful, and stupid and I don't know if you will ever be able to forgive me,,, but it is my deepest yearning that you do and I shall never take you or our life together for granted. If you bannish me, I will go, but I beg your forgiveness. I will earn your trust and love later,,, right now, I just want you to forgive my crimes against you and our union,,,"

Now, that could serve as a basis for reconciliation,,, but not when tears only come down when they are caught and can't lie their way out of it but still they don't want to get divorced from you because the other person they've fucking is just no good at other things except sweet talks and fucking,,,,

again, good job on the ending,,,,

i like it

appropriate ending

I don't have any problems with this

Some readers gave you a hard time about this ending, but it works fine for me (though it's different from mine, of course).

We can all agree that Susan's behavior was way over the top. it's not at all unreasonable for the husband to conclude he doesn't want to be married to her any more, and to take his revenge as you have written it.

It may even be more plausible than my ending, in which he makes her pay, but stays with her.

Either way--looking forward to more of your stories.

ohio

TWO LESSONS:

1. ALWAYS be polite to your readers! what’s wrong with you? Insulting your own readers?? I have a guess though. My guess is that you meant to write something else, like 'the rest is obvious from my perspective…one of number of generic options' Am I guessing right? If not, please don’t insult me, I’m kind of sensitive.
2. QUALITY OF WRITING is a separate issue from MANNERS. You write well. You are imaginative and provocative. In my book you don’t take off points from a performance because of bad behavior outside of the music hall (in a manner of speaking). By writing well I don’t mean grammar or spelling. I mean – interesting ideas; original plot; characters with emotions; surprises along the way. I got all that.
We’ll teach you manners over time…In the mean time, thank you for writing; keep writing and remember - BE POLITE!

Prefer this ending, but...

Your ending makes much more sense than ohio's. Susan was totally off the deep end and deserved to get what she got. A wave of the hand and say, "don't kill the bitch even if she deserves it. She's too dumb to worry about.

My problem is that while your first story was well paced and nicely written, in this one it seemed as though you were in a rush to get to the finish. Some parts seemed choppier. The "911 call" seemed more like a reason to be arrested for abuse of the 911 system than a legitimate call.

I don't see any more need to "tell what happened to Susan" than I did to be told what happened to Keith after he was untied. A pained look from Susan and a quizical look on Keith--maybe with some comment hinting that the marriage was about to end--would have been enough.

Still, it was a much more believable end to the tale than the one written by ohio--even though there are some things I like about that one better, too.

The Cobbler

Great!

Perfect revenge. Only thing he should have done was record the events of the confrontation during and after the other wives viewed the tape. That would have been the perfect ending!

Three stooges

I think the three stooges wont be sleeping very good tonight with snow white.
Pat
Atlanta,Ga

An ideal pair

What a great pair. A stupid, vindictive slut wife and a vicious, vindictive husband who will, in the future, stay sober.
the Ct. Yankee

what happen to the people who fuck over the hubby

that what we been waiting for,what happen to the scumbags.you went to hell and back and nothing to what they went too.

Great story

Don't leave your readers hanaging...This was very good..

Payback is a biatch...

Revenge

The plot was good,what there was of it but it could have been fleshed out a little more. More detail. Of course we can all guess what happened to Susan after the tape was finished but that's why we read authors that usually have better imaginations than we do and can express their thoughts in writting much better than most people. After I read your ending I went back up and read your note and it all became clear. You got hurt and mad from people peppering you so you wrote a simplistic ending, in essence saying, "there you half brain little twits do you need someone to spell out every little detail. Well, there choke on that. Then you write a quickie, purposely leaving them hanging again. Now you feel better because they asked for it and you gave it to them. Revenge is sweet. Except, people like to read fiction of relationship problems to escape real life or maybe even get hope from them while being entertained. A lot of authors just leave off the ending and say it creats suspense so the readers can use their own imaginations. I myself, like to find an author that gets you believing a person is marally corrupt and then as the story progresses you realize the reason the character acted the way they did. That's only one aspect of stories I enjoy. There are others. We may not have the writing skills to be able to express our thoughts or your imaginations but that's why we turn to you. Please be kind. If some irate reader pummels your story consider the source and try to understand how that reader got to where they respond aggressively to a particular story. Then use it. Remember, pain breeds agression. Thank you

why?

I do not know why you felt compelled to 'finish' the story, but you did. Readers who express an opinion regarding the completeness of a story should be thanked and ignored.

I Love A Happy Ending

Great ending, glad to see you are not a habitual wimp writer.

Forgiven

Hated the first one loved the second.

Arrogant

What an arrogant SOB hansbwl is , if you are going to write a story WRITE AN ENDING , do not insult your readers .

yep

Quite good, and you are a writer of my taste...don't worry about what others think... Your prose has style and grace...And thank god, you're not a wimp.. Cheers Yoron

Great read

lol...Loved the last sentence of your story. He made her pay. Thank God this story didnt go into the difference between "making love" and "fucking" and all that crap. She screwed up big time and she paid for it severely. Thats the way.

Good Consequences Story

Perhaps that famous story where the gal invited the first guy she saw to give her a revenge fuck is closest to the reaction
of a woman who just had her whole world. But here the protoganist is right, she was not in love with him.

good

another good option ?

ohio's story is good

this was one of the option's but
i liked ohio's ending more.

This is a reasonable continuation of the 1st chapt

Good continuation from chapter 1. But as with Chapter 1, chapter 2 lacks desired detail. In real life, Hansbwl must be a journalist required to meet deadlines and have limited newspaper space for his articles and reports. There are several similar stories in Loving Wives to this one, and I believe that the original plot dates back ~2,000 years to Roman times. Hansbwl's variation of it is very good - but because it is so abbreviated, lacks depth. RAG

ending

thanks Larry

This story needs better revenge

I think I would at first gone to each one of them and ask for money, maybe $20k each to keep my mouth shut (that would pay for the divorce and then some) Then do what he did at the end (Showed the wifes the tape). Maybe even put the tape on the Internet.

I believe in revenge.

He did the correct thing for divorcing her.

By the way I don't like stories about cheating, but revenge shire makes things a lot better!

Other wise good story.

Yes you are

Thanks for giving the guy his balls back

Better:

But not much.

You are forgiven IF...

You write another one

HE STILL SHOULD OF TOOK A BASEBALL TO THERE BALLS AND ENDED THERE SEX LIFES FOR GOOD , BUT OTHERWISE BETTER THAN SOME OF YOUR OTHER CUCKOLD SHITE

I rated it 5*****.

However, it is too mean for my taste. His three friends only agreed to have sex and normally it would not be that big a deal. However, one or more did take advantage that it was a revenge fuck without informing his wife of the truth. That is a bit over the hill and likely will result in one or more divorces but perhaps not since most wifes will forgive a husband that cheats one time, especially since they didn't initiate it.

1. Unbelieveble JustPlainBob wrote a comment here to complain about more sequel!!!! Ha Ha Ha... The old Hungarian way of saying Owl say sparrow -You have big head- !!! Ha Ha Ha....
2. 5th authors who wrote a story where somebody does prank with infidelity. Is this common in the USA?

Enjoyed it but...

I do agree with your choice of having him leave her, no way she could ever be trusted again. I am still trying to decide why, but although I enjoyed both, I preferred OHIO's ending.

Forgiven

And thanks

Excellent

Burn the bitch and let the friends wives divorce them also. It doesn't get better.

OH YEAH

This is my second time through this story -

I do like this ending -

It gets to the heart of it - she over reacted with no facts to justify any behavior then made it clear she would - in the author's words - own the relationship. He was right to run early -