Spelling mistake or is it a typo on line 2. Poor grammar.
less smother?
I assume it was meant to be 'less smoother' as we dont want to smother anyone just yet. But less smoother is a really poor use of English.
After that for a beginning, I just knew the rest would suck.
by
Anonymous03/19/06
fair go ya bastard !
man, you people give me the shits...you're reading a simple porn story and you critique it like a dried up old schoolmarm...i before e..fa fa...well i enjoyed it.
by
Anonymous03/19/06
very good
I agree, this was a good story not a grammer test. Would love to read more.
this is not a PORN site it is for EROTICA, and for erotica to work it HAS to be properly written THIS WAS FAR FROM PROPERLY WRITTEN. best thing you can do is delete and rewrite it then run it past a good editor before reposting. as is it sucks and never should have been posted you should be ashamed of yourself.
English
too bad ya caint spel
Spelling mistake or is it a typo on line 2. Poor grammar.
less smother?
I assume it was meant to be 'less smoother' as we dont want to smother anyone just yet. But less smoother is a really poor use of English.
After that for a beginning, I just knew the rest would suck.
fair go ya bastard !
man, you people give me the shits...you're reading a simple porn story and you critique it like a dried up old schoolmarm...i before e..fa fa...well i enjoyed it.
very good
I agree, this was a good story not a grammer test. Would love to read more.
more
This story needs a sequel!!
Good start ...
...Needs a really great finish...
NOT A PORN SITE
this is not a PORN site it is for EROTICA, and for erotica to work it HAS to be properly written THIS WAS FAR FROM PROPERLY WRITTEN. best thing you can do is delete and rewrite it then run it past a good editor before reposting. as is it sucks and never should have been posted you should be ashamed of yourself.
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