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English
Unveiling
Creepy, effective, and a great twist! Erotic horror doesn't get any better. Good luck :)
horrificly wicked!
"She leaned over him, jiggling her heavy breasts into his face."
a nice write with great twists!
good luck!
~LB~
Scary and
chilling, you're going to give me nightmares girl. Great story.
Chilling
You raised goosebumps on my body. As with all your writing this story was rich with images of a land I have never seen. You give me a peek into a world that is strange and mysterious.
Well Done!!
YES!!!
Exotic, erotic and creepy as hell, Dampy. I LOVED it! Good luck!
*jumps up and down with glee, cackling wickedly*
great story!
creepy... I enjoyed reading it...
Brrrrrrrr
One of the best Erotic Horror stories I've read in Lit.
Scare
has different levels. children are scare of the dark and minor "scary stories". sophisticated/grown up adults, however, are not so easily scared, especially if the story is predictable like this, with the ending being that the apparition turns ugly and sucks one's soul like this,,,
really scary stories need to end more imaginatively.
this story started out nicely; if it wasn't brought to this formuliac ending, it would have worked.
THE OTHERS, starring Nicole Kidman, for example, was a ghost story I had in mind when I said "imaginative" ending/climax.
in THE OTHERS, we thought Nicole and her kids were being haunted by ghosts in their old, Civil War-era mansion,,, it wasn't until towards the end that we found Nicole and her children WERE the ghosts, who were SCARED OF THE LIVING, who, seemed (to Nicole and her children, THE GHOSTS) to appeared and disappeared in bizarre manners before their very eyes.
the REAL surprising twist was that Nicole and her children were scared of THEMSELVES, hoping that what they think was not real: that they're not ghosts; but they were!
THAT kind of "sophisticated" scare is what grown ups look for, not the kind where a hero is pinned down and can't get up, and the previously beatufil and sensual girl is now an ugly worm infected entity devouring him,,,like your story here,,,
It is well written, however. Thank you dear Damppanties!
Scary Story!
I love a story that makes you feel a few chills running up your back as you read it. A first class effort, DP.
duddle
SUPER WRITING
I do not care for erotic horror, but was fasinated by your pen name. I'll go and read your other stories because after reading this I still don't care for erotic horror, but I do like the way you write.
enchanting horror
scared the shit out of me, I'll have night mares now when arms wrap around me
Good writing, Dampy
I've got the symbolism figured out. Old wierd eyes is actually a patient accounts rep who discovers his insurance won't cover this stay in the hospital, right? :)
Rumple
I love the darkness...
I was pulled in from the very first moment and not disappointed one bit. Excellent story DampOne...and I'm honoured that I could inspire such magnificence!
Samandiriel.
Did sound real
Ur writing did overwhelm me, an Indian. However, the editing demands a bit more to keep anyone abreast of the ending. I read the entire story half-way through. Indians have a great understanding with ghosts and that could be one of the reasons why I care more about the editing.
Great writing dampy......... will surely read more.
Exotic, Sensual, and Creepy
Beautiful little dark gem of a story. The exotic setting really adds to the spookiness and menace, and the descriptions and sensuality of the language were wonderfully fresh and lush. That station in the Indian moonlight is enough to give one the creeps, and the story unfolds with the patient menace of a real seduction.
Really beautifully done, DP. That image of the shadow in the corner of the station will be with me a long time.
en-lightening
Loved it. Some of the descriptions were almost romantic if one overlooks the genre as a horror story. Love the play in words. Very well written.
Chilled like Ice
This is a great story, chilling, raises the neck hairs. I loved your attention to detail and way description coats the sense of illboding until you bring the piece to its conclusion.
Great work Dampy. Thanks for the read.
Dampy...
....icky creepy and spooky but I loved it. Have a wonderful time in the contest.
Lizzy
Eeeeewwwwwooooooo....
Damppie,
Although not a lover of Erotic Horror, this was well told and held my interest till the end. Very good! Thanks.
*Shivers*
Wow! This was so well-written; and, as many have said before me, very creepy...Thanks for the great story!
Wow....
Erotic Horror at it's best. Marvelous, cherie, simply beautiful.
And I won't be going to India any time soon... *shudders* Vampires I can deal with... hungry ghosts is another.
Incredible
This was an incredibly story, vivid in its imagery and raw in sexuality (even if there was an eww factor at the end). My only hope is that there might be a sequel somewhere along the line :)
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