All Comments on 'In My Life Ch. 04'

Where was Rowdy and Wishbone all this time?

The only thing Maria has going for her is her looks. She's immature, snotty, self-involved and ignorant. If Emerson is half the man he is being portrayed here, he'll look elsewhere.

Maria's immaturity is getting pretty old!!!!!!!

I enjoy your work, but this story is getting old very quickly.

serials at the movies when you were a kid did you? You certainly learned the art of stopping on a cliff hanger.

I really like the richness of detail.

Maria is a young girl in love without the experience to know how to deal with it. Damn, I've been there my self.

Do you have anything else sitting around on old floppys? (By the way, do you REALLY have a computer that has a floppy drive? Wow!)

This is a truly great story!

Regards, DJ

good story and the plot is wonderful.miss landers will take him and the young and inmature maria needs a lesson.pretty girl is been a pretty pain.

HDK,

You do have the knack for this. Well done, can't wait for more.

Loved this chapter!

Boyd

P.S. To answer Chagrined's question. Dead and on a movie set.

I am so looking forward to the last chapter tomorrow. You have done this with such great 50ish style of the love waits till the very end. At least I can see he won’t ride off into the sunset without the girl.

Loving all of this so much

Although this is a different genre for you the writing and the talent are as always. I am no book critic, and I would not know what is publishable or not. I do know, however, what I like. I would buy this book and many of your other works. Thank you.

Roy

and you saw that coming, I have to wonder about your character development of Maria.

I mean I've not been this captivated by a good story in years. And I find myself looking forward for the next chapter. Of course I would have preferred it all at once, but I'll take what I can get.

But I have to wonder about Maria. I mean, no matter how pretty a girl is, if she is constantly trying to hurt the man she is supposed to love, I'd hate to see what she does if she thinks he is cheating on her. It sorta makes him look like a glutton for punishment that he seems to enjoy hanging around her hoping she will like him back. You have to wonder at this characters sanity itself if he's willing to keep going back time after time for this.

Fantastic story. But I wonder how many chapters you have in this though =)

Some agreement about Maria being the one to constantly show her immaturity. Emerson is patient, I will give him that. Still enjoying this story immensely and awaiting the next chapter. And if Emerson took Maria over his knee, that wouldn't be remiss at this point. Just an opinion.

I love this story so far....cannot wait for the next installment. I hope that you go back later and fill in the eight year gap of our hero...sounds like the makings of a great western

but Maria's stupidity is becoming extremely tiresome. We women are not as stupid as you male authors love to paint us - does it soothe your inferiority complexes to portray us as so silly?

If Maria has learned nothing about herself or Em, as you are showing her, then she is useless to anyone.. um... except...

You have now made him, despite the macho goings on, as a uselss wimp where women are concerned. What woman in her right mind would want such a gauche specimen?

Oh, sorry, that's right, poor simple Maria.....LMAO

Except for this over melodramatic treatment of the Em/Maria relationship it is a great story.

Well, this is a revolting developement! She whops him right on his new injury[and old injury] and he takes the count. She's standing there with her fists clenched but as she realises he is really hurt she'll be blubbering and kissing Emerson, telling him she's sorry. This will be the end of her doubts of herself and Emerson. BUT, if she takes off immediately without wondering about Emersons shoulder, it may be sometime later before they are sociable. Maybe at the dance.

Chagrined: I think you're watching OLD serials and getting them mixed up. ;-))

I think Maria overreacts where Emerson is concerned but most women ARE like that!! Maria assumes too much with little provocation but go back 100 years and one kiss could well mean you're married next month!!

This is a good story, with good dialogue and is well written!!

Very good plot. Can't wait for the next chapter and where you're taking the story. As to Maria, yes, she's immature and insecure. Sometimes she believes in him, and at others, she doesn't. But this has to do more with HER, than with him. It's who she is. When you've grown up, fighting for your identity and who you are, you get a chip on your shoulder. Some people will look at you and only see your nationality and/or color. They make you feel less. I can understand Maria--because I am Maria.

I've been giving something some thought.

While I think so far its an exciting story and a real seat gripper, what I'm starting to wonder is something I've always hated to see in a story. Reconcilation at all cost.

There was something that alway was "hidden" for me under the surface and I couldn't put my finger on it, but now I can. The main male lead was a spoiled child and teenager who was forced to leave home. After he did so he grew up. He matured and became a better person. Someone always trying to do the right thing and help others at all cost. Something that most of us would like to say about ourselves, but probably couldn't

But the female lead, Maria, didn't grow up. She is still living at that point in their lives where she was 14 years old. Is always trying to cause Emerson pain and seemed to feel better if he is in as much pain as she feels at that moment, even though he never seems to be out to cause her any pain, and tries to take any steps required to prove that.

I don't understand this. You develop the main character into a better person, but his love intrest is spiteful, mean, hateful, and all around dislikeable spoiled brat. But somehow I get the feeling that you might spend about 10 paragraphs near the end of this story on having her develop a quick change of heart (but only after the first 4 "chapters" of her being mean and spoiled) and then have them both ride off into the sunset. That will seem pretty anti-climatic after so long a period of her beeing so spoiled with no real time developed for her to prove her measure. For developing such a smart main character you have him as pretty stupid as far as she's concerned and not looking like he's ever going to wise up to her personality.

So far, if you're keeping score, we have:

-In a fist fight at 16 to protect her, but him getting beat litterly into an inch of his life to help her.

-Him later in life in a gunfight, but only after beating up men who were threating her again. And later those men wanted revenge for that act and tried to gun him down.

-Him getting gored in the leg after rescuing her from a stampede. Wasn't her fault, but he risked his life again to save her

-Him getting shot in the shoulder and leg after telling her and her friend not to ride off alone for their safety, and having her convince her friend to do so anyway. Riding quite litterly into the danger he was trying to protect her from.

-Him getting stabbed in a saloon trying to defend her honor and her hitting him in that same stab wound the next day because she wanted to believe something someone said about him more than she wanted to believe in him.

You had her do a few things too, but they were were in response to what she caused. She:

-Took care of him after he shot. But it was because of her refusing to listen to him in the first place when he tried to protect her and the rest of the group that got him shot.

-Stayed behind to help him catch up to the cattle drive. But again, that only happened because of the above statement.

In all she has really no likeable qualities and in most situations would get any man intrested in her killed.

But somehow I think your going to stick them together regardless. If you do decide too, at least show some growth on her part. Right now there is none, and the few and far inbetween acts you have her do, as a response to her direct actions, aren't really enough to qualify her as wife material to any one.

But still its a good story.

-Risq

but,as a few others have commented, you have shown Maria as a silly immature fool. She is so silly she does not listen to her mother or her friend. She is out to show how independent she is and all she has done is cause most of the conflict in the story.

Emerson is shown as having developed and matured since he was 14 - Maria has probably regressed to about age 8 intelectually, but is in a woman's body - always a dangerous mixture.

Emerson has matured, realised the faults in his old ways and corrected them. In reality he is so far out of Maria's league it is actually comical to imagine them together. The reasonable course is for Emerson to turn his efforts anywhere but at Maria.

But, that said, this author is following the age old formula for these western/romance stories, and to stay true to the genre he has to have Emerson and Maria ride off into the sunset as a couple. The problem is he's made her so utterly stupid that even the need to stay true to the genre is not reason enough to put them together - not that that means it won't happen.

It is another case of the woman being made so stupid and dug in so deep that any resurrection is simply unreasonable.

What is it with male authors and the urge they cannot ever deny to make their female leads so "brain dead', as lady K so aptly puts it?

I am leaning to her posible explanation that it makes the poor dears feel so much better about themselves if their women can't think.

There are so many great stories out there to be told about women without this brain dead affliction. Is there a male author with an IQ better than a single digit out there to write it?

Experience so far would indicate, not on Literotica.

In the end its just a silly soap.

My second time reading this story -- it is still good!

I don't understand what he sees in Maria she is a jealous and quite stupid woman, she is also rather unlikable. I like the story it's well written and entertaining.

how many wounds can still be bleeding in the same shoulder?

how many times does Maria have to appear stupid?

how many super hero acts does he have to perform on a daily basis?

You should have stopped after ch 03

I continued reading to see what all this super-human would accomplish. I am certain there's a big red 'S' on his chest. This is approaching comedy.

the danger still beckons. TK U MLJ LV NV

It has all the aspects of a possible tragedy. She does not know her man, she only

knows the boy who insulted her and has not grown any since

Acts like a HS soc chic cheerleader.

Neither have very good communication skills. love it so far.

Maria is a spoiled bitch. I like everything about this story but her. She has ruined this story for me and I'm done with it.

Yep I agree with the previous comment. Maria needs her ass beat!!

I think the author finally crossed a line: it sounds like everyone is sick of trying to guess what the bi-polar, immature, narcissistic, sadistic, and breathtakingly stupid Maria is going to do next. She's cruel to Emerson; constantly sniping, punching, insulting, etc. How could he possibly do anything but cringe when he sees her coming towards him?

Maria is not coy or cute, not coquettish or seductive or a tease: she's just plain spoiled and mean. She's treats him so poorly that, by now, in real life, Emerson's friends and family would be wondering why he's such a wimp as to put up with her. Who would want to be married to unpredictable shrew like Maria?

Maria has a few screws.loose. Really tired of her. She is the worst of the "jealous stupid and rash female stereotype" At this point she is annoying and no matter how much a man loved her he wouldn't put up with this crap

Surprised that this chapter rates as high as the previous ones. Anyway, the negative comments have skyrocketed -- as they should.

I hate it when someone withholds needed information as Emerson is now doing. Such foolishness has made the story much less fun. No reason for it.

Maria should have been taken over knee and spanked after disobeying orders in the last chapter. Maybe she would have a little more sense and compliant humility in this chapter.

A constant theme on Literotica is women's beauty. Others are on a lower level. This is prejudice just as elevating a race and putting other races on a lower level is racial prejudice. (In both cases, a person is born that way and being punished for something they cannot help.) I do not know of any way around beauty prejudice, neither in Literotica nor real life nor my own life. But beauty prejudice is carried to an extreme in this what has now devolved into a soap opera. The heroine is allowed to disobey orders, and, act immature and spoiled -- because of extreme beauty. The hero makes so much allowance for her being beautiful and female as to cause common sense to fly out the window.

Not a satisfying chapter.

Paul in Oklahoma

Later you will see Qwen Anderson is Maria incarnated and Steve Hammer is Emerson reincarnated.

On flagrant drama much? Mercy!

The Maria character is really grating on me now. Lets have some more gunfights and some lynchings.

Well done!

nice story.

In a few days, Emerson has more holes than my old pants.😜

He's not going to make a pretty old man.

getting pretty tired of beautiful marias bitchy attitude, very tired, hes better off w/o such an entitled drama whore.

4 this chapter just because Maria is really starting to annoy me.

Really enjoy the “comic book style” people you create, HDK. Except for Maria in this chapter and this entire story. (My 3rd or so read).

Her redeeming qualities are insufficient to the balance of her nastiness, for me.

But … Another five stars, of course.

Craig

Boring