by littlejenni1985
A very good story. Every brother should have a sister like you. I'm looking forward to chapter 2.
Sometimes cliffhangers like that don't work, but I loved this one. It didn't detract from any of the story and leaves plenty for you to go on for future stuff. Hot as hell and a good read as well as everything else...
excellent story! very good detail, very good descriptions of the emotions the characters must be feeling. please write more.
It's called a "teaser". A key element for any serial story. Mom? Really? Where's the next chapter? Quickly! Nicely done...
I had to start off ranking you at 100 for spelling and punctuation if nothing else! The story is well-crafted and not heavy with stereotypical plot dynamics. It--- the story--- unfolds as naturally as a blossom in the sunlight and sets a perfect stage for upcoming installments and my only comment/ question would be do women actually think in narrative terms like "manhood" and "secretions"? I mean men DO think words like "pussy" and "cum" all the time and even though they seem blunt on the surface they are words that in their more natural flow make for hot descriptions. Hey, its all good littlejenni, keep up the great work.
Mmmmmmmm...:) Nice roller-coaster ride! Thrilling, dangerous but safe in the end...:) Wheeeee! Yummy...:) I wanna go again...:)
Bakwaas story....bakwaas plot...........mujhi bagmati maa dubera mar randi..............
Translation- (Superb story....Superb plot.......hey you can follow the famous bagmati)
Yo bujhne malai reply garnu hai