Some of the worst writing I've seen here, yet. What is with the constant use of "such that" instead of "so"? It sounds like Emeril Legasse speaking. There is a mistake in the very first sentence. 'Experience' should be plural and it goes downhill from there. One sentence starts: 'In as much as...' and it should be: 'Although'. I can not believe that this was ever a 'good' student. On top of this, the story is both trite and boring with no eroticism. Sorry, but don't give up your day job or at least get a brutal editor.
by
Anonymous04/10/06
Enjoyable and tender
Very much like your story. Full of emotions and desire. Keep on going!
English
Badwriter NOT gudstudent
Some of the worst writing I've seen here, yet. What is with the constant use of "such that" instead of "so"? It sounds like Emeril Legasse speaking. There is a mistake in the very first sentence. 'Experience' should be plural and it goes downhill from there. One sentence starts: 'In as much as...' and it should be: 'Although'. I can not believe that this was ever a 'good' student. On top of this, the story is both trite and boring with no eroticism. Sorry, but don't give up your day job or at least get a brutal editor.
Enjoyable and tender
Very much like your story. Full of emotions and desire. Keep on going!
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