A real good story as always from you. Glad to see your writing again, welcome back! I hope you will write another chapter to the cousin story and maybe even finish Jake's sisters.
by
Anonymous07/23/06
Dreams come true at times
I really liked this story. It is all about having the right kind of luck.
It serves to inspire others.
And best of all was stacy who accepted being pregnant and then marrying him.
Couldn't give you a five because of the typo's and spelling errors but I enjoyed the story. Keep up the good work.
--Alvaron
by
Anonymous07/23/06
enjoyable, but...
I found the dialogue a little too cliched to be real. The story is a very good premise, and I'm assuming the almost juvenile narration style was a deliberate plot point. Just a tip for the author, measurements in an erotic story tend to make it seem clinical and mechanical.
There were a few small errors in spelling, nothing major. I would have liked to give a 4.5, for the technical quality, but Lit doesn't let us do half points. >.< I gave you a four on quality, and had the story been a little more polished, and managed the suspension of disbelief that draws the reader in, I would have definitely rated it a five.
Good job, and good luck.
by
Anonymous10/05/06
Good Story
I loved the story it is always the nerds dream to get the girl of his dreams
by
Anonymous11/22/10
cool story
wish some hot babe had done that to me while I was in geeky kid in high school
by
Anonymous02/11/13
this shit was plain fucking retarded!
by
Anonymous09/14/13
To anon 2/11/13
You sir, are a twat. Scratch the sir part... you do not deserve the respect it implies. This is a beautiful story. And sexy too!
by
Anonymous01/09/14
Fantasy
When clearly writing a fantasy, try not to put things like "that was 12yrs.. ... " "we are still married "
Either have a believable plot for that or stick to fantasy. Try not to make it believable by these sentences. It fails badly.
by
Anonymous01/21/14
LOL
BEST. STORY. EVER. I love reading your stories!! Please make more! "*****" five stars for you!
by
Anonymous05/09/15
Nope
The only reason a cheerleader as stuck up as you made Stacy out to be would have approached him like that would be to pull something even more rotten than feathers and honey.
People do not change overnight.
English
Very Good
What a way to woo and win a bride!
Boyd
Interesting Concept
A real good story as always from you. Glad to see your writing again, welcome back! I hope you will write another chapter to the cousin story and maybe even finish Jake's sisters.
Dreams come true at times
I really liked this story. It is all about having the right kind of luck.
It serves to inspire others.
And best of all was stacy who accepted being pregnant and then marrying him.
Enjoyable story
Couldn't give you a five because of the typo's and spelling errors but I enjoyed the story. Keep up the good work.
--Alvaron
enjoyable, but...
I found the dialogue a little too cliched to be real. The story is a very good premise, and I'm assuming the almost juvenile narration style was a deliberate plot point. Just a tip for the author, measurements in an erotic story tend to make it seem clinical and mechanical.
There were a few small errors in spelling, nothing major. I would have liked to give a 4.5, for the technical quality, but Lit doesn't let us do half points. >.< I gave you a four on quality, and had the story been a little more polished, and managed the suspension of disbelief that draws the reader in, I would have definitely rated it a five.
Good job, and good luck.
Good Story
I loved the story it is always the nerds dream to get the girl of his dreams
cool story
wish some hot babe had done that to me while I was in geeky kid in high school
this shit was plain fucking retarded!
To anon 2/11/13
You sir, are a twat. Scratch the sir part... you do not deserve the respect it implies. This is a beautiful story. And sexy too!
Fantasy
When clearly writing a fantasy, try not to put things like "that was 12yrs.. ... " "we are still married "
Either have a believable plot for that or stick to fantasy. Try not to make it believable by these sentences. It fails badly.
LOL
BEST. STORY. EVER. I love reading your stories!! Please make more! "*****" five stars for you!
Nope
The only reason a cheerleader as stuck up as you made Stacy out to be would have approached him like that would be to pull something even more rotten than feathers and honey.
People do not change overnight.
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