Couldn't finish reading the story due to the poor English usage. "Your" is not a synonym for "you're" which is a contraction of "you are" and "where" doesn't mean the same thing as "were" so I just gave up. You can serve slop to pigs, but it isn't kind to make such offerings to the public.
by
Anonymous04/30/06
good
i liked the story, can't wait for the next chapter
Your story is good but it is so hard to read with the miss placed, wrong words and breaks that make for stuttered reading that make little sense. We have to stop and guess what you are trying to communicate sometimes.
Then why do you care that you don't know
Because who you were appeared on out doorstep yesterday
Sex would have cured that but the minute Joel knocked on the door that was thrown at the window.
Please get an editor, as you appear to have a good storyline.
Looking forward to more of the story with editing included.
Keep writing
English
Get an editor
Couldn't finish reading the story due to the poor English usage. "Your" is not a synonym for "you're" which is a contraction of "you are" and "where" doesn't mean the same thing as "were" so I just gave up. You can serve slop to pigs, but it isn't kind to make such offerings to the public.
good
i liked the story, can't wait for the next chapter
Your story is good but written so poorly
Your story is good but it is so hard to read with the miss placed, wrong words and breaks that make for stuttered reading that make little sense. We have to stop and guess what you are trying to communicate sometimes.
Then why do you care that you don't know
Because who you were appeared on out doorstep yesterday
Sex would have cured that but the minute Joel knocked on the door that was thrown at the window.
Please get an editor, as you appear to have a good storyline.
Looking forward to more of the story with editing included.
Keep writing
Ch.02
enjoyable...like to see where this is going...respectfully fan in Texas naynay
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