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A must read! This is a very good novelette
You have sure improved the writing, as it is getting much better.
I have to say our heroin is quite the ultimate snob. She looks down on everyone she meets as a pimpled person or just a hick till she meets Katie. She hates her past life and hasn’t come to grips with that pain and guilt. She discounts others as inferior to herself and has a very high regard of herself in physical and mental deportment. So you have a real wealth of feelings in this complicated, yet intelligent, woman who’s in denial of many unresolved and hidden conflicts.
Thank you for doing away with the writing of expressions unfinished or delayed like as if you were writing a script for a play. This has helped me a lot to have the story flow so evenly. Maybe I’m too dimwitted to read a script type story instead of a book type flow. You are still letting us feel her expressions of the mind and that is great. You have so much plot to unfold and expand that I would hope you might double the size of your submissions, though that is not essential.
I do suggest you get an editor to help with the grammar and spelling as there are a few mistakes though not daunting.
You have a great story line and are very talented.
Thank you for this very good entertainment
Peggytwitty
Good
I'm interested to see where you go with this story. Obviously, someone will get hurt and it may not be the men.
Boyd
Just....
as enjoyable as the first...actually better...look forward to reading on...only thing is i do wish the storys were a bit longer but hey youre the writer...im just a reader:)...keep up the great work and hope that you have another chapter out soon. respectfully fan in Texas naynay
doesn't work for me
to me this feels like the written equivelant of a chick flick. but what really did me in is it just moves too slow. the combo did me in.
chapt 4 is already posted but this is a good time for me to quit. i didn't vote because didn't think it woud be fair to downgrade it because of my personal taste.
good luck with the story
don
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