by citizenseventeen
One suggestion: make your paragraphs shorter.
Hope to see more stories from you.
very nice and erotic...can't wait to read more from this point of view
Shows that a girl can be a little agresive and turn out fine.
Please give us more of their adventures.
That really worked for me!!! I thought it was a great story!! Now all you have to do is write one about the first time you give up the pleasure palace!!!
Not bad for a first effort. However, the numerous grammatical errors are incredibly distracting.
You have a very good point of view writing style, I look forward to reading more.
Has anyone ever told you that it is HIGH SCHOOL, not highschool???