Its fairly good, but in the context of the others, its a bit repetitive. I don't get the sense of the ladies as individuals. Flesh out the descriptions. What makes each woman special? Give them their own vocabulary and style.
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good but
Its fairly good, but in the context of the others, its a bit repetitive. I don't get the sense of the ladies as individuals. Flesh out the descriptions. What makes each woman special? Give them their own vocabulary and style.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to A Surprising Journey Ch. 03 or
More submissions by peacekeeper25.