All Comments on 'How to Pick Up Chicks in 14 Departments'

Hey! What a gift of insight you must have. I am rolling over your Wally-world hunt for the elusive woma who makes my world spin... at least for a day...

Good ancedotal, style gets 5 points!!!

crack me up. I will never look at the contents of someone's cart the same way again. For that matter, I'll forever be analyzing each department's shopper, lol. ~Minx

Pity my nearest WalMart requires a car to get to. Otherwise I'd be tempted to try out your advice.

Nice one, Tx.

At least now I know why men never pay attention to me at Walmart. :) Very funny, Tx!

This was a riot! Loved it. What incredible powers of observation you have... :) This one cracked me up: "Two action adventure movies; move on, she already has a boyfriend/husband." Very astute! Like I'd watch "Mission Impossible" I, let alone II or III, if I didn't have a husband at home? :) Great job, Tx!

On the review thread.

Falling

I Love action adventure movies & no one is more single or straight than me. I also wear small size men's shirts with jeans to work, & fem it up with silver sparkles & that hint of cleavage & lace that gets me many dinner invites. I'm 5 foot 11" and look particularly good pairing men's & women's wear.

Absolutely loved it. But you forgot "Renting six comedies--will dig my sense of humor."

*kisses*

Jammies

After all the heavy stuff I sifted through at the AH, this was right on time! Long live cheeky guy humor; if we lose this, then we are truly lost. *salutes TX with a beer*

You learn a lot about the customers too. I worked for Wal-Mart and people toss a lot of interesting things in their carts!! Great Story. Good luck in the contest. ~ Red

LOVE IT.....BEING IN BAGHDAD AND BEING AWAY FROM THE STATES HAS BEEN ROUGH......NOW WHEN I GET BACK HOME !!!!! LOOK OUT FEMALE SHOPPERS.......THANKS FOR THE GREAT ADVISE !!!!!!!!! YOU ARE AWSOME.... STILL LAUGHING....

BAGHDAD KEV

There is nothing quite as bland as Wal-Mart for picking up women. The clerks and department help are either fatties or stuck up lesbians. Few customers in any department are of the ideal "frontage" or "backage", most have droopy tits and if they are not riding in some electric shoppers cart/basket, they have 2 or 3 squalling rug rats that prevents them from appreciating flirty looks from you. The ones with more kids in diapers or running around sampling all the toys, are usually Mormons or Mexicans that their Mormon or Mexican husbands keep them so fucked that they don't even have the time to look at another cock.

... it works both ways! I always stick a package of granny panties & some baby clothes in my buggy just to keep prowlers like you from buggin' me. *wink*

Still laughing, here! Nice work, Tex. *kisses*

~ Imp

I found this article entertaining and funny, non informational.

You brightened up my day with this one, hon. Thanks & good luck.

My last trip to Walmart was over two years ago. As best I can remember, the females I saw in there were not the type I would take anywhere. Unkempt, crazy hairstyles, cheap looking, maybe two steps up from skid-row. I could go on, but why.

Your little piece was amusing here and there; but, if that is your idea of How To, then get thee back to ye ole drawing board, but fast.

Your story is a hoot! However, as a woman who has been single for the last 10 years (by choice, folks, I wasn't healthy enough to think about anything else) I've had to learn how to change my own lightbulbs and airfilters, and WalMart is a great place to get those! Ditto the hardware section of the store. If I need to clear a drain, I'll grab my OWN plunger, thank you. However, if you really want to lift all those heavy boxes, I know a great woman who is moving in a couple of weeks! WINK!

Hilarious!! I was seriously ROTFLMAO!! I hate Wal-Mart, but I can always leave the hustle and bustle by heading to the kids department or the crafts and looking at yarn :o)))

You are one mother of a moron. Unfunny, uninsightful and a waste of time. Stick to wanking.

Although, I've never tried Walmart, but I can attest to it working at an upperscale department store. Younger, cuter women--both working there and shopping there.

Grocery stores in trendy neighborhoods work well too.

I am howling...although Im a Target man myself, I like to think it shows my sensetive side....LOL!!

although not entirely accurate. Women without an SO will sometimes buy small tools to do repairs around the house. Even some married women will do this if their husbands are incompetent of lazy.

Don't worry about Don87654. He is known to be something of a racist and the best you will get from him is "Good, but could be better." The last I knew, by the way, he had never posted anything.

You said this applies to guys also, I'd like to see your breakdown aisle by aisle. Then I'll start wearing makeup to Walmart, so guys won't think I'm cheap;) but wait, then they would think I'm constantly on the prowl, hmmmmmm...problems problems. Story was funny though:)

In the paint department I loaded up on "Sunflower" and a positively purple "Pomegranate". Wandered over to the other side of the store. Threw in a sandwhich maker; picked up a tail. He followed me over to Hosiery--we exchanged smiles over the thigh-highs. He picked up competition. Took both of them over to Auto; fondled the pressure guages, picked up another one. Took all three over to Frozen Foods (no bra) and then got two more. Me and the entourage went to the Feminine Hygene aisle and they all disappeared when I loaded up on PMS aspirin and maxipads. Amazing! It really works! Thanks for yet more fun and inspiration, you devil, you!

I need to get back to shopping more often. I have had some success in a grocery store but that was awhile ago.

I think I'll hang out in the produce section. Surrounded by zucchini, cucumbers, and melons; oh yeah.

Very clever idea coupled with great writting.

Thanks

My mind went so many places with this humorous yet reasonably right essay, thanks for the advice TX, I don't get to wal-mart often but I suppose this works well with all stores.

I was in livingston the other day, not my neck of the woods but there for a little league ball game and we went to wal-mart to kill time. I suppose I will never look at or in wal-mart the same way again <grin...

good luck (~_~) and thanks for the read

Art~

quite funny... we didn't have walmart around here until very recently, and now that we have it i still avoid it... but if anybody asks me about advice on how to chose a woman in walmart i will refer them to you...

I'm getting very tired of the fake how to articles. The point of how to is to give real advice. If you want to write a funny story/article please put in in the right category which would be satire and humor.

"You can learn a lot about your object of affection or in some cases infection..." It was lines like this that kept me giggling throughout the piece! I think it could have used a little more of a "How To" slant, but the humor and satire were great! I'll never look at men in WalMart quite the same!

Tx... my sides hurt so badly I was crying when I read your piece. I actually have to agree because I have SEEN men doing this. I think all of the women should unite and wander aimlessly just to watch what a man's reaction is to where we are standing.

Lizzy

As soon as I log off, I'm headed over to Wally World... :D

voted 5 anyway.

I almost died reading this. Especially the line about the boyfriend on a milk carton. Please write more How To articles!

LMAO when I read this

you are just too funny

thats the stupidest thing ive read in a long time..

Reminds me of how many guys seem to wander by when I'm in the erotica section of a book store...WHAT is that blond chick reading??? Nice read, thanks for the pleasure.

While this was mildly amusing at some points, it wasn't very well organized - I had trouble figuring out where the topic changes were at some points. I was also really put off when you said that any woman in the automotive department "is either lost or looking for a date". Considering my background working on cars I'm pretty sure if I'm in Automotive it's to pick up an oil filter or a couple of parts, not to pick up men. I expected more than a stereotype here. Thanks for letting me down.

...that place scared the hell out of me. I felt like I had fallen down a rabbit hole. Never went back. I have been known to put Stilletos, thigh highs and thongs in a cart and cruise the Target though. It was fun to read. Thanks, xantu.

Great read! Being a "Walmartian", an associate, myself, I love the humour and the advice. Also, I enjoy reading some of your other stories,too. Keep up the good work.

Someone's seriously frustrated!

Pah, I'm a woman and I'm not offended. This is so funny! And surprisingly accurate... Going on my favourites cos really, what other choice do I have? :D

What the heck is a girdle?

"A shovel, an axe, and two bags of lime. Check cart for maxi pads and chocolate. The last boyfriends is about to make an appearance on a milk carton."

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Well done!

Cute

I had a good giggle, thank you. 5*

Grocery stores work well for this purpose too.