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English
I almost didn't read this
when I saw the author's name.
Quite a good short story
me too
Like Kanga40, I almost did not read this story because of the author's name.
Good story and good writing. I liked it.
nice, but ...
Good story. Sets the mood, then delivers the goods.
I just have one small criticism that doesn't affect the score, but I think should be brought forth in the interest of realism.
Would it have broken the mood any if you'd had this couple get up and brush their teeth first? I'm not being flip or sarcastic. I know what my mouth tastes like when I first wake up, and I know what my wife's mouth tastes like first thing in the morning, and neither of us goes near a kiss until we've freshened up.
You could have them pressing their bodies together at the sink, running their free hands over each other's body, anticipating a quick return to bed. Then they can really get into a lip lock.
The absence of that was the first thing I noticed, and it was a little distracting. Other than that, it's just about perfect.
..and also..
Not only did I also think 'ewww..no brushing first?', but I can't be the only female that wakes with a full bladder!
Then again, we're reading fiction, where real life doesn't apply! Great story.
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