All Comments on 'One Of Those Days'

but, otherwise, to the point.

A man ain't got a chance!

Boyd

Full of hate and admired only by his fellow haters,

If and when they grow up and become men they will realize how silly their temper tantrums are.

Then maybe they will be able to love and satisfy a woman.

How do you figure? Woman cheats on her husband and he kicks her out. What should he have done, thanked her? "Gee honey, is he enough for you? Maybe I should find a few more?" Yeah right. From her comments this wasn't the first time. The only person he is hating is his soon to be ex-wife and it looks like she deserves it.

for some reason woman should be treated different when they're caught cheating.if they were finished good the start with some of the shit they do wouldn't happen.some commentor like the woman to get away clean.let everybody know if you play,you pay.

The concrete pumping was an interesting part of the story. I did not get women hater out of that at all. That was one woman, his wife, who showed herself as a multiple cheater and denigrated him at the same time.

Trogted

This is an enjoyable story.The meticulous attention to the details gives the reader an insight into the mind of this poor guy.The reader begins to feel an apprehension as to what misfortune lies around the next bend in the road of life.Each episode in his day gives the reader a glimpse into the man's character and his marvelous ability to adapt well to misfortune.The author implies that misfortune is part of our lives.What sets this man ahead of his peers is his un- bending strength of character.He will not meekly accept incompetence on the job, unsafe working conditions,disloyalty from a friend,and adultery from a wife.He deals adroitly with each situation.He does not bemoan his fate.He does not look to others for answers.But, rather looks to his own common sense to handle each problem as well as could be done.

I kept wondering WTF as I read your story. The concrete part was a bit long but otherwise good. I especially loved the ending where his cheating wife got her bare ass marched out of the house. If more cheating wives had this happen to them then there wouldn't be as many in the world. Sorry but that is my opinion. It's about time a story came out that had an ending where the cheaters got what they deserve. As for being a woman hater, not hardly. I think it's the other way around. The guy loved his wife until the moment he discovered her cheating, lying ways.

I got the biggest laugh out of the person who called the Author a woman hater. Why, would the commenter thank the husband if she found him in bed with a neighbor? Maybe they could have tea together, and discuss it being the spouse’s entire fault for being a poor lover. Give me a break to some kind of reality commenter.

Thanks for the short tirade of a story.

The goofball who complained about women haters should suck it up and be quiet. This is not at all that kind of story. It is one thing for a woman to disrespect her husband by sleeping with another man. It it quite another for her to humiliate him by comparing the two and having the husband unknowingly "clean" her out afterward. Why didn't goofball comment on that?

Personally, I think the hubby should have held the shotgun on them and "forced" them to have sex all afternoon, whether they wanted to or not, and he should have called and invited the wife over to watch. Then he could have marched them through the neighborhood in towels.

The hubby was actually kind, if you ask most of us.

person who said was hater story is either wimp or she been cheating for years and loves to hate her husband

I liked the description of concrete pumping. You made the frustrations of the job real and set the stage for and angry ending.

PS a true woman hater would have shot his wife in her pussy so nobody else would use it.

you cheat you loose

I am not a wife hater, but I think the end justifys the means. She humiliated him by comparing her lover to him. He humilated her by having her walk down the street in a towel and taking the towel. Once a Cheat Always a Cheat. I hope she gets the clothes on her back and that is all. I am grateful that he did not shoot either of them because a whore and a bastard are not worth going to jail. He should wind up with everything and when the dust settles, then he shoulc take his revenge. "I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER."

gave a 00 for a score or a 00 for her IQ.

It's not that it's a bad story; it's just that it's written poorly.

In the second paragraph, you mention "the pump". What pump? In the third, we learn that there's a concrete truck involved. And what was with the shop rag? There was no set-up as to what it is that Jack does, and the reader is left to figure out that it has something to do with pumping concrete. Do you not realize that nine out of ten people have no idea about what you're talking about, unless they happen to be in that business?

And the segue: "He stopped in the door and watched as some guy fucked his wife." So, the reader has two sentences to transition from some kind of construction work he doesn't understand, to the abruptly provided fact of Jack's wife humping some other guy.

The bit about the shotgun and the towels was nice. But the story would have been better with more set-up on the front end, less detail in the first half, and more development toward the end.

my two cents,

-- KVK

i like the response of the husband. he didnt wait for more days/weeks/months before making a decision to get rid of his no good wife.

nobody wants to be disrespected and humiliated in their house. it has nothing to do about 'hating women'. if the wife is dissatisfied w/ her life, then get out of the relationship then she can satisfy all her longings.

match your litterary talents

too much preamble; not enough story.

Didn't need to go into all the details about the pump and the concrete.

I think the writer is having fun with us or is a true white redneck blue-collar hard working stiff. Six major parts of the story lend a strong tendency to this conclusion.

The first being the reference to tree huggers (environmentalist).

The second to non speaking untrained workers (Hispanics).

The third to big dick loving women (cheating wives).

The fourth to the project superintendent who didn’t know what he was doing and needed to be straightened out (white collar workers).

The fifth to evidently worthless neighbor George

who had nothing to do but fuck other hard working guy's wives all day (unemployed womanizing bum).

The sixth and last the single person in the whole story who understood, was considered equal, and could talk to Jack on his own level of understanding, Charlie (truck driver).

I did have the impression that Charlie just happened to be another white redneck blue-collar hard working stiff. A fan always.

When I see the Name Grey Eagle286, I know it is a good day. I will have at least one story this day that I will enjoy. This one was no exception. I have worked "cement" trucks long, long ago, so I picked up what was going on, but I was confused till I could get my bearings. I would imagine those who have no idea what goes on were baffled. I missed an early designation of what he was doing.

But the story was hilarious. And, his reaction was sooo good. And the Jackass neighbot with his bowel problem had me chuckling, serves him right.

Thank you for giving us this treat.

The best description of this story is just SILLY. If some dimwits erotic fantasy with his cement truck is what turns you on, then I say go for it. I think that this story is just a piece of farce.

foxe_male

Just that. Boring.

This is Lit-EROTICA, remember? This has no goddamn sex, no well written descriptions, in fact, no descriptions at all except of some weird construction worker stuff that nobody undestands or cares about.

If your wife cheated on you, write to Miss Lonelyhearts.

Walt

Good God! Another revenge story. These boring stories which end up as just being pathetic rants by men who hate women are really bad.

I actually only have one comment on the story.

Too bad cement didn't figure into the picture when it came time to throw the two out of the house. Hmmm let's see, maybe a cement truck pumping cement into each of their cars? Or for the extremists maybe cement overshoes? It seems after all the buildup the least you could do is use that stuff to exact his revenge.

I also have one comment on the comments. No one forces us to read any of these stories. If you see an author whose stories you do not enjoy, why put yourself through agony and read them anyway so you can write all kinds of derogitory crap about it? Go on to the next story and don't comment.

There are very few authors whose stories I will not read, but there are a couple and I just bypass them.

Grey Eagle, thank you for your efforts.

Charleybear

he was way to easy on them ...i really think as someone else said he did have left over concrete ...bury them in it up to their necks right

I don't understand the people calling the author a woman hater. She cheats, in his OWN home, on his OWN bed. He kicks her out. He didn't single her out for special treatment, he tossed his neighbor, a MAN, out in the same condition. He is an equal opportunity hater, he hates cheaters. So do alot of people.

I think the situation was handled about as well as it could be, without anyone getting killed that is!!

Didn't much enjoy the build up and the angst over the wetbacks -- thought it was a tedious way to get to the ending. The ending was pretty funny though and I laughed. Keep it coming!

It could have been even funnier. But I do not complain; I had a hearty laugh from the story as it is.

Now to Chrlybear’s suggestion. You came with a very fine suggestion! Funny thing is, I was thinking along very similar lines before I read your posting. I thought- how could I have helped Eagle to connect the cement machine part to the cheaters? First, I would have rearranged the story so that the cement truck would be right next door. Then, the husband would have directed a generous amount of liquid cement right through the window and into the house of the cheating neighbor (as a farewell memento to both of them). Then I realized that the guy is married, so this would mean punishing his innocent wife, plus no ‘cement related’ punishment to the cheating wife. That would not be fair! Then I read your suggestion – installing cement loads into the cheaters cars: perfect! He could have then given them the option to drive rather than walk. Soon enough, they would have found to their horror that their cars were not about to be moving anywhere anytime soon. The husband then would have offered: “Thought to myself it would not be polite to let you two leave without any memento from me”.

good story of life, work problems

short and sweet, with a couple of laughs, thank you!

That was a blast i wished you had extended the story i liked it .

Atlanta,Ga

will you be finishing the story where goes to to his lawyer and then talks to his ex wife to be and find out if she ment what she said while sue and george were fucking in the husbands marriage bed why did she have the affair?and how long had they been doing it behind his back?

Pat

Will Jack get his money from the contractor? Will the switch operator win lotto? Will the concrete truck driver find happiness in La Jolla? Disconnected scenes usualy do not form a story, but this one was OK.

I am so tired of reading wimp husband shit by the Brit writers on Lit that are so fukin politically correct that they wait till they burst open in no tells them that it's alright to take a shit.

WOW, I'm impressed. No more high school standard. This is a perfect 10 story. Well Done.

they acted and he reacted, to their debauchery. nice ending too

first part could have been more consolidated and edited better, but the end was awesome.

Very well written and finely detailed. No question of wimphood here. The comments are fascinating too!

I hate it when the tenders don't speak English! At least the slimy General Contractor had to get his hands dirty! Pistolpackinpete

the amount of introduction may be a bit more than needed, but i do like how jack handled this and the nice resolution.

Way short, but oh so sweet! Thanks for being a writer who has a pair.

Husband should have blown his balls off!!

I don't think either one of them was in love with the other. End of a bad marriage, at least they didn't have kids.

No commenting while drunk or high, or both.

Awww, lighten up ursus. Neither one of them were worth killing.... death by embarrassment works for me!

loved the way it ended. Taking the towels back was like an exclamation mark!

I love this story

Fortunately it was pouring concrete and not a cheating wife. Funny story and it had me laughing at the end.

of this story and the ending makes it good. And to piss of a concrete worker. Bad Idea. TK U MLJ LV NV

I loved the ending.

funny stuff, I really liked it.

NOW THE LAWYERS GET INTO THE ACT, SO MUCH FOR JUSTICE AT LEAST THERE AFFAIR IS BUSTED. NO KILLINGS SWEET REVENGE

Thanks for sharing. Short and to the point!!

More please and soon. There are too many WACC writers gravitating to this section

Heck, that's mostly what I write. Really short stories.

But I don't like fluff. I spent three quarters of the story hearing how to fill forms with concrete. I didn't learn about the man. I didn't learn about the woman. I didn't learn anything about the situation except that he is having a bad day.

Thank you for writing.

What a fucked up analysis for a good story.

I loved the fact he shot his shotgun into her closet of clothes. I can just imagine how many of her outfits were ruined and can she really complain? Not particularly.

Some women have closer relationships to their clothes then their husbands...and replacing them would cost quite a bit. Too bad the court system will likely take his cigarette money in prison to pay her back for the damages.

Nice. The bitch got what she deserved. We need more such stories.

Nice flash story. A little tedious at the beginning. Thanks.

My kind of story !

But you should have made it longer.

Only a WIFE-FUCKER, a WIMP, or a CHEATING WIFE will call this an "I HATE WOMEN STORY"

A galaxy of stars!

How did I ever miss this classic. A lesson here: Don't mess with a cement guy who had a bad day.

OH YEAH

Yeah, they are not too kind to cheaters or those they cheat with.

Many years ago I was told of a cement truck driver who had a chance to stop by his house in the middle of the day, of course his wife was not alone.

Cliche I know, but cliches become cliches by being so often true.

So the truck driver filled the other mans sports car with concrete all the way to the top of the doors.

Now that is a great flash tale, short, to the point & great revenge. Pity he didn't have any quick dry cement that he could have thrown over them, then put them outside.

5*****

Now that was a flash story! I love it.

I've not heard of a 'flash' tale before, but this certainly fits the definition. It is extremely short and to the point, as in "bye, bitch." I enjoyed it as it was written. I haven't rated it yet, but be assured I will apply a commensurate score.

Where she calls the cops, has him arrested then takes him to the cleaners and get the house and every cent of money he has while he's in prison in the divorce case. Then she and the guy with the bigger cock can move in while he gets to find out how it feels to be filled with cock in the slammer, probably will find out he likes it as much as his wife does.

is how it should be done

He would likely get away with that considering the stress he suffered -

I hope so lol

what can I say. straight, clean, no muss, no fuss. unfortunately, discharging a fire arm in city limits is a crime, and you know some of his neighbors will be making the call. not that I agree with that. he might have been better off just blasting them in the crotch, when he caught them, claim temp. insanity.

Getting arrested for discharging a firearm all depends on if his neighborhood is actually in the city limits. The story doesn't say but he could live in an unincorporated subdivision, so no crime. Anon says he would be in prison, Unless he actually fired at them there is still no crime.

I hear gunfire in my little town all the time. I hardly ever hear sirens. A teenager fired at squirrels in his back yard. I have shot stray dogs that were attacking my dog. Police never even came to check. Laws differ.

And that's all she wrote. Let the sorry cheaters fend for themselves.

Straight to the point & lesson to all on how to treat cheaters

Just not finished!

To coat-lubricate hose you mix hydrated lime with water in five gallon bucket and dump into hopper before filling with concrete-grout.

After running hopper out of grout you break reducer open and put in big sponge, close reducer fill hopper with water and pump it out.

Instead of filling hopper with water through hose, before you begin pumping you set 55 lidless clean gallon drum near hopper and fill with water. Then when time use five gallon bucket to scoop water out of drum into hopper. Saves lots of time as drum can be filling while you are setting up - rolling out hoses etc

Short, but sweet story.

"Why?... How long?... Are there others?... Do you love him?..." And why would you? Good story. However, this is a good reason not to own a gun - I'd shoot him!

A story about someone NOT an office worker who walks away pukes & crys. Take no prisoners...short and to the point...

You want to screw a wife ? Be ready for major problems folks.

Friend walks in on neighbor bangin' his wife shot the dude in ass cheek (left one it was in papers) with .45 long colt pistol---Awwwwww, awwwww!!!

We don't all cry & whine when shit happens...

from the story:

"God! I love the way you fill me with that big cock. Fuck me harder and faster. I need it so bad. Jack just cant do me like you do lover. His little cock don't fill me up. Cum with me my love, I'll get him to clean me out later, he'll never know the difference if I let him fuck me first. He hasn't noticed anything yet. Oh! I feel you cumming. It feels so damned good, not like the little squirt Jack gives me."

Right. I have said stuff like that, heard stuff like that, all the time.

Kinda makes me think there was something of a set up here - "lets make a story about pouring concrete, and have a totally gratuitous dis of the protagonist by the antagonist, use some gun in a wacky way, and see how well it scores".... quite well, apparently - 4.38 as of this note.

Must be a lot of people who appreciate short stories with meta humor elements...

Green-something

and this is the only story GE 286 has ever written like this

This is why you pick up those expensive beanbag rounds. Fun story, but dude needed to be shot in the nutsack.

Caught and didn't shit pants as didn't have any

Please keep up these types of stories

You get right to the point and and don't add a lot of bulls hit to fill space.

Great entertainment

He could have peppered them a little bit. It would have made him feel better.

Too funny. Great story. Gave it 5 stars!

lets guess,he's a cement truck driver. he takes the proper action pretaining to in house situation. He thinks a beer will solve his problems. TH THA Thats all folks. More time spent on making sure every one reading knows his Cement truck driver. Thats the story. waste of read

I love stories with fragile Conservative men as the MC.

No pussy footing around him. He came. He saw. He conquered.

He took care of that issue, quick and easy.

I liked it, a lot!

Maybe illegal but I liked it

And? Where's the rest of' the story?

good to work off the kinks of the day

Well played!

Too much about his pump and way too little on the revenge