Inspiring. It is good to see a man shrug off the yoke of oppression and claim his birthright.
by
Anonymous06/01/06
Pointless
I get the joke being made but this declaration really had zero purpose. Go back to writting your regularly good stories.
by
Anonymous06/01/06
Bravo 3 !
These are brave words that deserve to be ehcoed from the mountaintops.Your words are the last great hope of mankind.A huddled,broken mass of men must answer the challenge of their clarion call so that; marriage of the man, marriage by the man,and marriage for the man shall not perish from the face of the earth!
by
Anonymous06/01/06
Independence
"...as a Free and Independent Man, He will have full Power to dress himself, have his own friends, drink beer rather than wine, buy the car of his choosing, vacation in the areas that He wishes, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Men may of right do."
If he can't do any of these as a MARRIED man, then he's not a man, period, he's a woman with facial hair. You don't have to divorce a woman to attain your "independence," man. In fact, if you didn't have it with her, odds are you didn't have it before her, and you won't have it after her either. Odds are that it was the REASON she left you/cheated in the first place.
'nuff said.
by
06/01/06
Brief, but then the original was.
Nicely summarized the issues with an unfatithful spouse. I look at it as somewhat of a conversation piece - something to spark ideas and discussion on what a marraige is... and isn't!
Good effort, DJ
by
Anonymous06/01/06
Declaration of Poop
You've really gone off the reservation with this one. You should add to the declaration; the wife shall have her hair long so the Neanderthal may drag her around by said hair. And the wife should compliment said Neanderthal's farts and belches. And wife should have said Neanderthal's wife beater tee shirts ironed to perfection.
These additions should give everyone who reads this rubbish a good idea of the kind of mutant you are.
by
06/01/06
Your Story...
... will be mentioned in the Story Reviews thread.
While I am quite pleased by the effort in adapting a historic document like the Declaration of Independence to marital problems you have portrayed the wife as much more than an evil despot, and the husband, having put up with all that crap is most likely too big of a wimp to even consider making such a declaration.
It would have been better if it had been a man testifying in court to the offenses his wife made against him before he finally snapped and shot her 38 times then burned her body.
Call it quirky call it crazy –what can I do? I like it when Wader (I hope you don’t mind my short hand for your pen name) experiments a bit. Sure, in the process he could make mistakes. For example, IMO this story would have enjoyed larger readership and more understanding if it was put under humor, which is exactly what this story is.
As for me, I laughed hard both from the mixed use of language (the description of wives attributes etc. and the legal lingo), and from the amalgamation of pretty much all the stereotypes you can find of “bad women” into one ‘character’. You definitely created the archetypal Xantippe of modern times! Then I rushed to my wife and kissed her for not being that woman (actually I just thought – it would be nice to do it…)
So, even if Wader would make some mistakes when he experiments, at least it’s not same old; same old – so: bring it on!
Now, someone (it would not be you by chance, WADER?) needs to write the female parallel to this male declaration of independence!
by
Anonymous12/03/06
Rest of the story?
This is a really nice exercise, but strikes me more as being a scene in search of a play. Why not use it in the context of an actual story? You wouldn't have to force the Declaration to fit quite so closely to the original, it could more accurately reflect the details of the couple's story. It would provide a unique mechanism to advance the plot and would lead quite naturally toward a 'Bill of Rights' by the story's end. You've had the inspiration, now all you have to do is write the story.
until I came upon the phrase 'a design to reduce Him to absolute Despotism'
How can you be reduced to a position of Absolute Power?
Musht be shome mishtake.
With the exception of the one significant error (despotism), and a few spelling mishaps, I salute your story. Simply marvelous and very imaginative. Well done.
But come on, Bishop Berkeley all ready made it clear that each of us creates the world that we perceive and thereby live in. If you have created a monster wife, you are stuck with her!
This was a very worthwhile,one-off, tongue in cheek , 4 star essay . For the full five stars I would have loved a story broken up and illustrating this pieces salient points.
Parodying the constitution and applying it to feckless slut wives was a diverting ide. I only wish the same spirit would be imbued in pre-nups so starry eyed future hubby's could be aware of the alarming tangent that Love's left turns can assume. I bow to this author's inspired blow hard bit.
by
Anonymous01/22/13
What nonsense!
This sophomoric article (not a story) is not the least bit imaginative. I have seen similar knock-offs of the Declaration of Independence several times...some of them interesting, most not.
It is some sort of comment on the various readers who find this amusing. Maybe it is just a youthful lack of sophistication.
Maybe we are not all as jaded or worldly as you oh great asshat -
I have NOT seen any such before and I DID see it as both fun and humorous - fuck you moron LOL
Before you dictate what all the world should or should not see as tasteful or humorous grow the balls to attach an identity to your own words. Better yet write better than this or any other author and share it with everyone out here ??
English
Well done ....
Inspiring. It is good to see a man shrug off the yoke of oppression and claim his birthright.
Pointless
I get the joke being made but this declaration really had zero purpose. Go back to writting your regularly good stories.
Bravo 3 !
These are brave words that deserve to be ehcoed from the mountaintops.Your words are the last great hope of mankind.A huddled,broken mass of men must answer the challenge of their clarion call so that; marriage of the man, marriage by the man,and marriage for the man shall not perish from the face of the earth!
Independence
"...as a Free and Independent Man, He will have full Power to dress himself, have his own friends, drink beer rather than wine, buy the car of his choosing, vacation in the areas that He wishes, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Men may of right do."
If he can't do any of these as a MARRIED man, then he's not a man, period, he's a woman with facial hair. You don't have to divorce a woman to attain your "independence," man. In fact, if you didn't have it with her, odds are you didn't have it before her, and you won't have it after her either. Odds are that it was the REASON she left you/cheated in the first place.
'nuff said.
Brief, but then the original was.
Nicely summarized the issues with an unfatithful spouse. I look at it as somewhat of a conversation piece - something to spark ideas and discussion on what a marraige is... and isn't!
Good effort, DJ
Declaration of Poop
You've really gone off the reservation with this one. You should add to the declaration; the wife shall have her hair long so the Neanderthal may drag her around by said hair. And the wife should compliment said Neanderthal's farts and belches. And wife should have said Neanderthal's wife beater tee shirts ironed to perfection.
These additions should give everyone who reads this rubbish a good idea of the kind of mutant you are.
Your Story...
... will be mentioned in the Story Reviews thread.
Lizzy
Link: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?t=4 28901
Doing it the hard way
While I am quite pleased by the effort in adapting a historic document like the Declaration of Independence to marital problems you have portrayed the wife as much more than an evil despot, and the husband, having put up with all that crap is most likely too big of a wimp to even consider making such a declaration.
It would have been better if it had been a man testifying in court to the offenses his wife made against him before he finally snapped and shot her 38 times then burned her body.
Fun read and great writing
Boy, that’s really heavy into trashing them bitches.
Have one more tankard and find a wench to moan about in the moro.
Good fun and well done.
That Was Different
I like it,I like it
Wader, fun read.
Though it was a fun quick read, there really wasn't a whole lot here. Waiting for your next truly great story.
Charleybear
Bullshit
A waste of time.
trash
Trash best put in the trash box.
Bring it on!
Call it quirky call it crazy –what can I do? I like it when Wader (I hope you don’t mind my short hand for your pen name) experiments a bit. Sure, in the process he could make mistakes. For example, IMO this story would have enjoyed larger readership and more understanding if it was put under humor, which is exactly what this story is.
As for me, I laughed hard both from the mixed use of language (the description of wives attributes etc. and the legal lingo), and from the amalgamation of pretty much all the stereotypes you can find of “bad women” into one ‘character’. You definitely created the archetypal Xantippe of modern times! Then I rushed to my wife and kissed her for not being that woman (actually I just thought – it would be nice to do it…)
So, even if Wader would make some mistakes when he experiments, at least it’s not same old; same old – so: bring it on!
Now, someone (it would not be you by chance, WADER?) needs to write the female parallel to this male declaration of independence!
Rest of the story?
This is a really nice exercise, but strikes me more as being a scene in search of a play. Why not use it in the context of an actual story? You wouldn't have to force the Declaration to fit quite so closely to the original, it could more accurately reflect the details of the couple's story. It would provide a unique mechanism to advance the plot and would lead quite naturally toward a 'Bill of Rights' by the story's end. You've had the inspiration, now all you have to do is write the story.
What seventh grader wrote this in history class?
Totally immature!
I thought this was brilliantly clever
until I came upon the phrase 'a design to reduce Him to absolute Despotism'
How can you be reduced to a position of Absolute Power?
Musht be shome mishtake.
MARRIAGE LAWS AND DIVORCE LAWS
and never the twain shall have justice. TK U MLJ LV NV
Marvelous
With the exception of the one significant error (despotism), and a few spelling mishaps, I salute your story. Simply marvelous and very imaginative. Well done.
Very Creative
I find this truth to be self-evident.
What?
It would be nice if the story was continued.
Good Read
But come on, Bishop Berkeley all ready made it clear that each of us creates the world that we perceive and thereby live in. If you have created a monster wife, you are stuck with her!
Rife with Frustration & Intrigue !
This was a very worthwhile,one-off, tongue in cheek , 4 star essay . For the full five stars I would have loved a story broken up and illustrating this pieces salient points.
Parodying the constitution and applying it to feckless slut wives was a diverting ide. I only wish the same spirit would be imbued in pre-nups so starry eyed future hubby's could be aware of the alarming tangent that Love's left turns can assume. I bow to this author's inspired blow hard bit.
What nonsense!
This sophomoric article (not a story) is not the least bit imaginative. I have seen similar knock-offs of the Declaration of Independence several times...some of them interesting, most not.
It is some sort of comment on the various readers who find this amusing. Maybe it is just a youthful lack of sophistication.
Anons have no sense of humor -
Maybe we are not all as jaded or worldly as you oh great asshat -
I have NOT seen any such before and I DID see it as both fun and humorous - fuck you moron LOL
Before you dictate what all the world should or should not see as tasteful or humorous grow the balls to attach an identity to your own words. Better yet write better than this or any other author and share it with everyone out here ??
Interesting concept
But a rough read. Gave it a 5 for originality. Generally like your stories,
Chilley
more ???
Needs more, theres an interesting epilog waiting somewhere waiting to come out.
A GREAT JOB OF PARA-PHRASING
and in keeping with the tone and genre. TK U MLJ LV NV
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