All Comments on 'When It's Over'

This was a good reminder of what we each face at the end of a relationship. I needed to see this tonight to remember why I should not be sad about my recent decision not to see or sleep with a man whose company I enjoy again.

It just wasn't working out.

I can't deal with his drinking, his drug use and his unreliability. Mindblowing sex, a man with a great sense of humor and cooking to die for just can't make up for someone who is not able to be "present" in the relationship.

Besides, there were three of us: me, him & the bottle. And that's just one item too many. A part of me still wants to believe that he can change - but I know how futile that hope is. The barganing aspect.

Thanks again for your submission. I needed it tonight - especially when I miss him so much that the touch of the sheets in bed still carry his touch, his essence.

since I had this...happened at Christmas of course, and took till recently to move past it. I'm still not perfectly fine. But anyway, my own little addition would be to say that these feelings are perfectly fine, but that they can still overwhelm you. Don't let that happen. Although it seems odd, working on cruise control is good. Try to do something, ANYTHING so that you do not crawl into your depression and die there. Something physically or mentally taxing is a good way to just "push through". Feeling the need to eat excessively or something is understandable, but you can't give up on everything.

That's my two cents.

...although, being the one currently calling the end to a relationship of many years, I can also assert that the "ender" goes through these stages much the same as the "endee" -- just at a different interval. It's never easy, no matter which side of the fence you're on. Thank you for the reminder, however, that it's perfectly normal, and in fact even healthy, to stumble through these stages.

It's so helpful to know that all the things I'm feeling are normal. It's been the hardest thing I've ever gone through, and I don't think I'm through it completely yet. But I'm getting there.

I an definitely identifying with the stages. I just went through a break-up last week, and it impacted me deeply. I seem to be somewhere between stages 4 and 5 with occasional withdrawal to anger.

I'd like to point out that some of the pain is a result of one realizing where he/she were not effective, or not true to themselves and others or where one's personal core issues were triggered. This is an opportunity to face the old demons of the soul and heal whatever need to be healed. I believe doing that will add to one's peace of mind and result in a better relationship in the future.

Its strange for you to put in words exactly what people do and feel after a break-up. I can identify perfectly every stage in my first heart-break and the first heart i broke. The reactions were the exact same!

Your article made me think of the exact emotions that I'm feeling day to day. I've been "prematurely ejaculated" out of an intense love roller coaster by one of the finest love, and non-teller of the truth to ever come across my big bulging crotch. No matter how experienced you think you may be, the "right" lover can chew you up and spit you out. Like the beatles song says, "Daytripper" it took me so long to find out, I found out!!

I needed this