All Comments on 'Pickup at Wal-Mart'

whether the couple's home was a single or double wide trailer !!!

This reads more like a translation from chinese to english and the they don't know english very well.

fell asleep, but I expected the husband to wait until they were fully engaged and pull out a baseball bat or something and attack them. I hope Ms. Wal-Mart drives a Hummer or something with a huge gas tank so this is worthwhile for her...

I was waiting for her to make the announcement that she had forgotten to take her birth control pill as he was plundering her cunt and shooting in her.

I was hoping hobby would get a creampie for desert!!!

Not much story!! Not much comment!!

I can't see what raised the ire of other commenters. It was not formulaic, you did have believable enough characters; story; and sex. For the next alltime masterpiece please look for the next Literary nobel prize winner. Dear author. Keep it simple and non pretentious - it works.

Pretty well done. You may want to develop the plot a little more. The big problem with so many stories on this site is that the writer is so excited about getting to the action that they leave out a good build up or plot.

As for the cheese face that tried to make some "constructive comments", you may want to learn how to write yourself before you comment so negatively on another person's story. Here is a constructive comment for you, you are an idiot.

You can do better than that

Enjoyed the tale. Nice to read it from the point of view of the cuckold-er - especially when the guy isn't one of those smug asshole ex-jock types. Tales told from the wimp's point of view make me ill. I'm damned if I can see the fascination of watching - ENCOURAGING - some guy to take control of your most precious possession: your soon-to-be-former woman's heart, soul, and sex. Sport fucking is all good fun when you're dealing with unattached people, but to encourage such behaviour where one or both partners are in a relationship? Not acceptable in my book.

As to any of you pussy wimp types that get off on giving your wives and girlfriend to any passing stranger, you best pray they don't come across my dick and tongue or they may no longer be yours.

BTW, when she's mine, I won't share.

What prompted this comment wasn't actually the tale, it was 'fumunda cheeze' review.

Dood, it was 5am here in SoCal when I read your comment. I laughed so loud I had the neighbors beating on the walls...

'...double wide' indeed... :)

B

So is Marty going to watch you breed his wife with your baby?

Maybe he will be the one that is doing the diaper changing?

Like so many other things at WM, this story sucks!

I'm assuming you are Eastern European... The parlance in the story is definitely NOT American... as a result it isn't very believable. For the story to work, it needs to be believable.

Thanks for sharing.

One cashier walked up to me and kissed me at the time clock, that was the beginning of our affair, both married but not satisfied, the other was after i was terminated and she met me at the water fountain where you get free spring water, she wasn't wearing anything under her purple dress, and when we went on a hike she raised her dress and i spanked her with my cock on her generously proportioned ass and squirted pre cum all over it. then we had to stop because some one was coming, again this was the beginning of a wild affair, her husband never touches her!

Cheating cunt works at Wal-Mart since her husband dumped her.

Waste of time