All Comments on 'Jaloux et Excité'

Bellydance,

You do write an intense story. No wasted words, you get right to telling it with gusto. I double loved this story because it was short, and left a lot of the eroticism to your reader's mind. Congrats on a story well told.

You get to say in your story what you need to - when you leave public comments open (good for you) we say what we need to! Fair & Free Speechlike.

So then - constructively - your premise was gollie she fucked someone else a few minutes ago - how cuckfully exciting - however when she left him in several months he had no hint that she saw him as a wimp and needed a pimp she could respect.

Thats your premise? Well that was sick of him and her actions were humanly expected.

The only problem is that unlike many others - this is a quality erotic site (although some just plain sick weak male demeaning shit leaks through) and you didn't bring anything to the party that could have been arousing to 99.9% of us semi-normal readers.

You have some talent - so try again - perhaps or not as it is your choice isn't it.

I was afraid it's one of those submissions in foreign languages, and my French is rotten... If there was some inherent value to the French in the story it would have been ok but since there is none, it feels like an empty posturing. Now, I hope (for your sake) that you don’t eliminate my posting as well. Then you could definitely mark for yourself a more serious issue than just a stylistic lack of integrity.

A second problem: I am usually not turned on by cheating, but the story should not be punished for that. A different question which comes to mind is as follows. Would not it be justified for a reader to expect some effort on the author part, in selling the point of the exciting qualities of the sexual encounter of this soon to be ex- couple? I mean the more you get away from the common denominator of readers preferences, shouldn’t you make a more vigorous effort to sell your POV? Doing little more than just stating that it’s great to sleep with a freshly fucked wife does not sell it.

Good luck with your future submissions.

You, writer, are a fucking idiot.

Basic lust: get your cock in and fuck her to death. Feel the soft clasp of her sleeve of love massaging your dick, squeezing, tickling, hugging... She must have loved it too: you can almost hear her scream in ecstasy as his prick thrusts in and out and then the marvellous climax as he floods her cunt with hot semen : his tribute to the ultimate joy she has given and shared. Oh, lovely, lovely, lovely!!!