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English
poor
shit story!
hurried
I felt that the story was rushed towards the sex. To me the idea of this good looking but stand-offish lady going to a bar and getting pretty drunk with a group of guys, then blurting out her fantasies to an almost stranger just didn't have any credence. OK I know it is fantasy anyway, but to me the best fantasies have a grounding that is believable.
You write like a little boy...
Great idea for a story, but you write like a 12 year old boy doing a book report...and that makes this story suck. If you wanted to be a "writer", the least you could have done was to pay attention in English class.
Can you count???
It's a good thing the story didn't go on much onger or Gina and her wife wouldn't have been married at all..in the first paragraph they were married for 20 years...by the middle of the story it was 18.....and towards the end when she was fucking Danny she had been married 16 years....
jeez...they must have had a time machine in the bar
Great reading!
Very erotic, and very possible. I couldn't help wondering...was Gina and her husband maybe trying to have another baby and the husband "couldn't deliver?" Wasn't the husband concerned that maybe Gina would get knocked up by you, or was this hoped for? Gina wants to continue to have these trysts, so are you going to continue with this story? Perhaps the next time she can begin crying at you to give her a baby?
Nice Start
Don't be discouraged by the criticism, its a good set up, just a little sloppy in the execution.
Good story
The writing was basic, true, but there was a strong element of the veracity about it.
Well done. Keep firing them in and ignore the wally's who can't come up with something constructive to say because they're writing is so basic it is brainless.
I don't know if it was intentional, but...
The length of the marriage kept deceasing from 20 to 18 to 16 years. Why is the 20 year old son still at home?
great original concept.
not your best writing, but you're doing well and showing lots of potential for improvement. most of that is solved with an editor anyway. thanks for a new and refreshing approach! keep it up.
I liked it 5*****
Thanks.
hot story
well done nice and erotic thanks
Confused
According to the text she had been married, 20yrs, 18yrs, & 16yrs;
Plus a son of 20!
Need an editor badly.
Great Story
It does sound like it might be real - makes it even better!
Very Nice - Fantasy Fulfilled Story!
Both my wife and I really liked this story. However, it could have used just a bit of editing to make some of the facts correlate better. The most attractive aspect to this story is that it is so authentic and universal. It applies to just about all long-term marriages. We thank you for writing this piece.
In just about every marriage a bedroom fantasy develops. Then, the middle-aged wife eventually gets a chance to act on it; usually with a younger man. Most hot wife lifestyles start just like in this story. My wife was laid off at her work, returned to finish university and eventually started hosting study nights at our house. I just hung out in my den, while they all studied around the kitchen table.
Eventually, she became attracted to one of the young guys and asked me how I felt about her fulfilling our fantasy. Soon enough she was banging him in our bed after the study session adjourned and he started spending the night. She soon got into the life style. Now, with every semester, she has a new lover or lovers. She seems to attract the young male students and now has more sex than she ever imagined.
Sloppy seconds, filming her and her lovers in action and eating cream pies have become second nature to me. This is real hot wife living; many times it just takes a few decades for a woman to figure out she wants multiple partners. Once she does, it is a wild ride!
Great story!
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