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I gave the story 3 stars.
I agree with the previous post. The wife unnecessarily created a great amount of tension between herself and her husband that well could have destroyed their marriage, if he'd LOGICALLY assumed her to be guilty, because of the lies and the other signals and had taken vengeful action against her.
I also noted another comment made about "Magical Negros". That was an astute observation by the person who left the comment. Exactly WHY did those Magical Negros have to materialize? Is it because this asshole author is another brain warped former college attendee? It's to the point where the assholes cram them into every TV commercial, even though their uncalled for appearance makes no sense and actually defies logic.
No Trust In Hubby
Generally I liked the story but it could use some editing and some proper continuance. There marriage was supposed to be so great but she couldn't tell her husband that her boss was hitting on her. So because of this their sex life goes to shit and she is lying to him. Like too many other stories it seems the job is more important than the marriage.
Also right at the end of the story when they are having sex, it seems to me that they are doing anal but he ends up blowing his load in her pussy..1
Well,
cheating or not I would say that she just about killed all of the things that would have kept them together. By the time he finally found out something was wrong, and he did find it out she never told him a thing until she was caught, it would realistically have been too late to save the one sided marriage. She never explained about the trip alone with him for 4 days when she had lied and said others were going. She met him to explain it with her father's lawyer in tow. If he hadn't of wimped out like he did would the lawyer have come into play against him. I didn't like this story much at all and I didn't like the wife's character and her treatment of her husband and her marriage. It seemed like the thing she was after was Henry's job and had been since she didn't initially get it. Why didn't anyone look at Henry's evidence? Too convenient that. I guess if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife is a truism after all.
Too conniving and deceitful by far to be a good wife. No score, would be too low and you write too good to get a 1 star.
Only added one thing
Loved your story. I would have only add one item, in real life, being a "good old boy". I would have gotten my pound of fresh from old Snotgrass. Well done. BK
Great Story
Well written. Don't worry about these armchair critics who think you should have written the story differently. They can't put more than a couple of poorly written paragraphs together. For some reason they refuse to take these stories as written. They want to revise the plot to their way of thinking. If you followed their lead, your stories would end up being crap. Keep up the good work.
SO MUCH FOR CRITICS!
Your tale is very good as written don't change anything. You did the work alongside your editor, don't worry about the Unnamed bullies trying to dictate what you wrote after they read your work. I think it's mean of you to not let them stop reading a story they didn't like. You must have some kind of super mind control powers to force them keep reading when they wanted to stop. Wait a minute they obviously didn't stop reading and started wanting to help you Write the story! Wow your powers failed big time you couldn't stop them from saying stupid crap. Again this is a good tale *****.
So much for the critics.
Bloody good.
nicely done sir, nicely done.
Nice story in the LW genre for a change
Well written with strong characters.
No need for mere vengence.
Three Kids or Not
I do believe I would of divorced her anyway. All the lying and yes of course the cheating, though not sexually, the dinners, kissing, and flirting would of been enough.
A warm romantic if predicatable plot.
Really no reason she can't let her husband know she is setting up her boss, trusting his maturity and intelligence to allow her to gather evidence. The husband can always cripple Snodgrass later. All the big power play and long time family connections didn't add anything. Lane still hired an open obvious misogynist, and allowed him to operate and manipulate his subordinates without any scrutiny. Sloppy management. Giving her Snodgrass' job is OK, but some compensation for her pain and stress would also be appropriate, and a Whole Lot cheaper than a law suit.
Still, a good uplifting ending, with bad guys getting the shit they deserve. That's always fun to read. Thanks for that.
Marriage Is About More Than Sex And Children.
Marriage should be considered as one of your children. You don't endanger, hurt, lie to, or keep secrets from your children. If you do, you do not deserve those children. Dee Dee was keeping terribly important secrets from Doug about her boss and former boyfriend Henry. Doug should wish her well in her job, pack his bags,then kiss the kids goodbye, and leave.
Well Done
Top score. Well written story line, characters well identified and good twists and turns to hold a readers interest. Loved the ending. Thanks for sharing. BK
Great story but only four stars from me.
(This is the second time I read it) Good writing BUT.... you fucking touchy feely Liberals make me sick. You see it coming but sit back and do nothing to stop the wreck that cuts your own legs off... then blame everyone else because you're a cripple. I was born with a low tolerance for stupidity and have been its proud owner for going on 77 years.
What MAN is going to tolerate nearly a YEAR of his wife virtually cutting him off while spending all her waking hours with the asshole who sneers at him and throws him smirks... as if he's fucking his woman? What kind of woman would put her husband through that torture, seeing and knowing what it's doing to him and to their marriage? SHE has to be insensitive AND a blatant fucking asshole.
At the end, for jack_straw to so blithely have the husband move on as if it's no big deal, once all is explained and all's forgiven, is absolutely fucking STUPID. In the real world, the husband will never forget all those months that she denied him sex and her companionship (by absence) that can NEVER be made up for and his resentment of what he knows that she CALLOUSLY caused him to feel would take two serious somethings away from their marriage.... TRUST that she wouldn't do it again.... and RESPECT because he'd no longer and never again have as much of it for her.
jack_straw has presented us with just another dumb cunt and a wimp who'll tolerate having shit smeared in his face to keep her.
Now that I think about it, I wish I'd given three instead of four stars.
to the Slippery Slope commenter below
Well,look at it this way right winger, if you take out all the middle of the story, the angst, the suspicion, the confrontation, etc., there wouldn't be a story to read. Think about it, it will come to you. Eventually. 5* and that's final.
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