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Almost there....
It was a good story, not up to your better ones but good. It was like most of your stories well written and edited, but it lacked emotion. I just could not get into the characters and the situation was not only unbelievable but cliche. Then, and this may be my pet peeve, you did not end it.
It is your story, please write your own endings. This has become all too common and it simply appears like the author is avoiding the really hard part in any story the ending and the comments that come after.
Michael
Well
the first thing I would do is to chew my own ass out for throwing away the gun.
What kind of an ass wipe would have any question about what to do
Once upon a time......
.....ok readers, you write the ending to this comment.
what decision?
she is a cheat and a liar. how can the husband even think of ever take her back? clearly, she is likes sex, ALOT. and really doesnt matter who (and maybe what). she cant change. she didnt even help her husband because she would rather be fucked.
so the husband should just fuck her, then throw her out of his room and tell her to get lost.
if there's another chapter, you should have Eric sue Brad and Amy for all their worth. afterall, the best revenge you do to a wealthy person is to take all their money away.
Close The Door On Her
She is a liar and a cheat who can not be trusted. She can never be trusted. She seems to have a cheating sex addiction. I am not a fan of untrustworthy wives or husbands who cheat on their spouse. I am not a fan of whimps either male or female. He thank god is not a whimp and did what needed to be done so far and should continue to be strong. He can never trust her. He can not trust his partner and is best rid of them both. He needs to start over some place without them with a clean slate and build his life and business activities from there. He can be sucessfull in both as he is a good man. He needs to forget the past and put it behind him no matter how hard it is to do. His wife and partner are nothing but trouble.
I look forward to a follow up chapter or chapters. You write fun stories.
Roger
Needs an Endding
DG, I'm surprised you didn't finish the endding. That isn't like you. My opinion is that he should divorce her, and give her as little as possible ( summon the health club members, and get their testimony as to activities). He of course should break all ties with Brad and Amy, and sue them for everything. I'm surprised he didn't hit those 2 guys in the balls several times with the bat. It would be nice to see how bad their injuries were (broken backs, legs, shoulders, crushed genitals,...). It would be nice for him to move, and start over again. Maybe Zoea will committ suicide, or possibly go into counselling for sex addiction. Too many loose ends here.
DG does it again!
Contraversy will abound on this one. She is a horrible cheater but, at the end she tells him everything. Does anyone deserve second chances? What if you really love them? Damn, I'd say drop her like a hot potato but now she shows up at his door asking for a second chance Thousands of miles away. I'd have to say if I loved her likeEric says he did, I would probably take her back but any other indiscretion, out the door she goes. Would he be happy without her? I don't think so.
As always DG a good read.
An avid fan
I guess forsaking all others must not mean
what I thought it did. Zoea understood it to mean "for my sake, I think I'll do all others." If what the dear lady wanted was no strings attached sex, why get married?
I am forced to chuckle when Zoea proclaims her undying love for Eric the clueless, many times over cuckold (at least four men and two women). If this is love, then dog food is made of t-bone steaks. My advice to Eric is take the money and run like hell because this piece of ass isn't worth the time or trouble. It's bad enough listening to the constant drone of "I'm sorry. I love you. Please oh please forgive me for my egregious and ongoing lies and slutty behavior. I promise I won't ever do it again." but the risk of AIDS or STDs is an unacceptable risk. It's probably safer disarming IEDs in Iraq than having sex with this woman even if he were so inclined.
DG, good story. Keep 'em coming.
DG Hear!
My editors told me I was asking for trouble on this one. Take it as a story. In real life would you dump her for life? That's a good question.
If I said keep her and work it out, I would have all this hate mail saying what a wimp he is.
If I said drop her, I would be seen as a person who really didn't love her in the first place.
So why not let the readers decide what they would do. You can argue with each other.
They both lead pretty wild lives and he wanted to show her off. Isn't that kind of asking for trouble.
Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting on my story.
DG Hear
Same Old Nonsense Again!
Authors cannot write an ending. It is becoming so intolerable that I am tempted to just stop reading Lit.com altogether. I have already cut way back on my interest and I am not sure if I really care anymore.
I have said it before, but let me repeat: Way too many Lit.com authors either do not have the creative ability to write an ending; or are too lazy to write an ending; or do not have the guts to write an ending (for fear someone will critize it); or just do not have enough respect for their readers to complete the story.
It is the author's story to finish, not the reader. If we have to finish the story, why bother reading it in the first place? As "Zootime" stated, complete this story:
"Once upon a time..." Now "Dear reader"...
Nice job
Interesting story, well told. Not crazy about the...... ending? C'mon DG, it's your story, develop your conclusion.
Whats the controversy?
Not much to debate as far as I can see. Weird place to end it and not really cute or thought provoking from what I can see. Even if you do like this sort of thing, you made the wife bad enough that there is no wiggle room as far as reconciliation goes. If you wanted a cutesy story with a non-ending, you should have at least made things a bit grey in the end.
- made the husband less doting and infatuated with wife. If you hadnt spent so much time describing how much he loved her and how they had talked about extra-marital sex, there might have been some room for him to make a different choice.
- made the husband a little less attentive. i.e. he loved her but sorta took her for granted and focused on work. Again, this would have given him some room to work.
- made her extra-marital sex and lying a little less over-the-top. Orgies and group sex over a long period of time is just too much for a guy who was in love with her to forgive.
As the story stands now, you just stopped with no good reason. That you spent so much time describing how in love with her he was takes away any choice he might have had. Loving someone doesnt mean you stick around even after its shown that they never felt as deeply about you, it just means you get hurt worse when they fuck you over.
Seems to me that you put all the hurt/paid/betrayal into the story, left no room for alternate endings or choices to forgive on his part, and then just stopped writing without the payoff. No him getting on with his life. No husband finding someone who loved him back. No wife realizing too late what she lost. No getting revenge on best friend/partner (not a big fan of shifting blame from wife and this still doesnt but if anyone ever deserved to get fucked over in a story, its his good 'friend' and business partners and his wife - you could at least have put a way for him to take the whole business and leave them broke. Instead they are rewarded when he gives his ex and them millions of dollars).
Not much controversy from what I can see though. Bad is bad and this story doesnt leave a lot of room for debate as far as I can see.
Thanks for writing though. I guess it did accomplish something since it pissed me off so much.
As if there's a decision to be made?
The author says:
"If I said drop her, I would be seen as a person who really didn't love her in the first place."
Not so. You really need to run your story by some people before you publish it because you're way off base. You left no wiggle room whatsoever for a reconciliation. Come on, the guy would have to be seriously mental to stay with her. You didn't even make it close. I would be surprised if there's a single reader who says stay with her.
And DG Hear, please, finish your own story! This cutesy let the reader decide thing is ridiculous. If you don't like the arguing that sometimes ensues when an ending is controversial, then don't allow comments and/or voting, but don't chicken out by passing the buck to the reader to finish it.
???
If I was Eric I guess I would have written the damn ending myself!! NOTHING sucks more than a story that you read that has NO FUCKING ENDING!!! If you can't end it don't write it!
Stand by his beliefs
She knew his stance on her having sex with another person. It would be a great disservice for his character to take her back after what he found out about all her activities. I do believe a one time indiscretion could be overcome, but she was spreading herself freely for years and lying to him each time they talked about the possibility of straying. That's not love and marriage. The trust is broken irrevocably. Most husbands love to show off their wives and in a marriage built on trust there should be no problem doing this as spouses who truly love one another have no fear of straying. Temptations abound throughout life. It is a choice to dishonor the marriage vows and to reap the consequences. Anyone can move on from a failed and broken relationship and be happy (if a bit more jaded). As for the friends and business partner, ruin them if he can. They are no friends of his. He was betrayed on all fronts and I can't see how he wouldn't want a bit of revenge on those who he should have been able to trust the most. Please though, finish this as you the author see fit. It is your story to tell.
You have to be kidding???
Your a hell of a writer, lov most of your stories. This one is a no brainer... Tell her to eat shit and die.!!! Just a cheating, lieing, whore kjaskbfljkbpfqebvnuiwrqtngvpwitrnugp vbjk bitch. I hope he has some back bone left.
????????????
I voted for this story and gave you a 50 because you posted it without an ending. If you were to leave it to me, I would not have let the cheating slut of a wife in unless she signed divorce papers then and there. He must be a fool for giving all of his wealth to a slut of a wife. Brad as turned out not to be his friend and Amy in another lying carpet muncher.
The only reason the slut of a wife wants to tell him about all of her cheating and get back with him is because she got caught. If she hadn't, whe would have kept going back to Chicago and fucking dicks and eating pussies and have her eaten for the rest of her life. Amy said that it was a matter of time before she was able to seduce Eric and then they would be all one fucking family. Give me a break.
Right now, he cannot trust his slut of a wife no matter what she says or does. The best thing he can do is have her put out of his and her memorys. As for Brad and Amy, have a contract put out on them. They should deserve a just reward for Brad fucking Zoea and and Amy eating and getting eaten by Zoea. Then he should just sit back with his 25% of the business and have a good old time.
Zoea thinks that she can get her way with sex and every man and woman will bow down to her. Her last remark was something about going to bed and getting this over with. Eric, don't go to bed and Fuck Her. Now telling what she might have and you do not want to die a painful death. The best thing you can do is make her leave and then leave and go somewhere else. If she follows, have her put in the hospital where she can't follow and follow this up with her mysterious death.
I am not a woman hater, but she really did him wrong. At least he got back at the two insurance salesmen, expect he did not hit them in the balls a few times. I would have done that so they would not have been able to father anymore children in the future and they might have died.
Way to go Eric, but Don't Let Zoez Get To You. Remember, once a Cheat, always a Cheat and she takes the championship as a Cheater. Can you ever trust her again, I don't think so, so why put yourself in that position again.
DG, I am surprised the Lady Cibelle would edit a story with such a false ending. I have sent things to her before and she has done a very good job for me and suggested I end my story, one way or the other. I guess you did not take her suggestion, which is you choice, but you are leaving yourself wide open for a ration of comments and not all of them will be as nice as mine.
Divorce the bitch
She is justa whore, restart the divorce but give her nothing also distroy brad's business leave all those that betraied him destroyed
with endings like this..........
i'm starting to appreciate Just Plain Bob more and more. he's the master of lousy endings to his stories. but at least he's honest about it, he lets everyone know that he doesn't give a crap what we think about it. your justification for doing this doesn't cut it. if the comments your getting are starting to bother you,turn off the comments section.
while i don't think this is your best story,it was good, until the end.i've always enjoyed your stories.hopefully this choice of ending is a one time thing.maybe i won't like your ending to a story but i'd rather it be yours.
regards,
don
no problem
tell the silly bitch to go back to her life style ....i had enough money that i would now live her life also ...i would fuck who i wanted when i wanted where ever possible ....and if she showed up in my bed every now and then ok ... but just split everything with her and go havefun man ....if yo uwant kids hire a woman to have it ...yo ucould have many kids by many different women even ...money will buy a lot have fun use it
DG
I am surprised at you,in your heart you know the answer.DUMP the cheating slut and her friends.
Not a DG story ending
We all know she doesn’t think of love in the norm for most people. She doesn’t know or care why she did all the sexual escapades, but wants what she wants and right now it’s get her husband back and then what ever comes next comes next.
Most men would give it a trial but the trust is shaken to a level only time will tell. Most times the unfettered love is never the same again. Only time would tell if they even care to fix the damage or just trudge on in some manner.
No resolution given as so many authors I respect are letting us commenters get to them. I hope I can disagree with an author’s story with some reasoning and not totally offend them.
DG is a very good author and I will always read his stories. I just wish he would end things his way and not copout because he is tired of us commenters not agreeing all the time. Normally it’s only romance category stories that will get a complete consensus of approval. That said, people even bitch it was too mushy not erotic, unbelievable or done before.
Thank you for the entertainment
PT
Bravo...
Once again you spun another wonderful tale. I agree with some of the others who would like to have a resolution but quality of writing, development of characters, and concise dialogue makes for great reading. Keep it up.
Bullshit "ending"
"If I said keep her and work it out, I would have all this hate mail saying what a wimp he is.
If I said drop her, I would be seen as a person who really didn't love her in the first place.
So why not let the readers decide what they would do. You can argue with each other."
Bullshit. Right or wrong, it is the place of the writer to pick an ending, not the readers. No matter how loudly some my complain or wildly agree, the writer must use the ending s/he wants, and THEN let readers debate.
DG this comes from my
heart. At one time your stories were thoughtful and wonderful, full of love and lust, drama and pathos. Now you are churning them out so fast that you aren't putting anything into them, such as the case with the ending to this story. You seem to be more into quantity than quality now. It used to be that I would open your story before opening anyone elses, now I wait to see what the reviews say before I go and read it.
I'm sorry, but I think you need to go back to being more into the story than into just pumping out the work.
A troubled fan.
I'll Help out
For all of you that have a hard time with the ending.
Ending #1. "Get out, bitch!"
Ending #2. "I love you, suck my dick, bitch!"
There that was easy, it's a multiple choice ending. DG I liked the story. I guess that if you have just a little imagination the story doesn't need the last 3 to 7 words. Thanx DG
Three words Throw her out. She's a whore
A man whop has his money and life style can get a woman who will dedicate her life to him and him alone. The wife he has now is nothing but a slut whore. Once a whore awlays a whore. let her go home and fuck who ever she wants. Dump her cunt ass in the streets of one of the islands and let the pimps make her a whore some where in South America.
Better if fewer complications
You layer the deceit on so thickly: she's been fucking his friends; they've been lying to him too; she's been fucking strangers; she's been literally whoring herself. Too much. In that situation, the guy's generosity is what makes no sense. He should have sued his "friends".
Interesting
Write your own conclusion! The only changes I would make is when the husband used the bat on the two assholes. After disabling them, he should have concentrated on their genital regions rendering them permanently unusable for sexual purposes. He also should have reported the health/sex club to the police as a whore house.
Boyd
i'm one of your loyal fans
you wrote a good story,but the plot was sorry.eric was a sucker the whole story.what kinder of man let two dogs loose on his wife at a beach.this guy was blinded by love and he got dumber and dumber.he catch her fucking two guy and he such a good guy he give her all he can.did you think this out before you wrote this.he punish the guys how about brad and his wife.if you finish this whatever you want to call this writing,take care of brad,amy and zoea.after finding out all deceit and betrayal,how can you trust her again.you're a common sense writer,why change now.he needs to go back and sale everything,get his cash and disappear.
Zoea: My Ex-wife should be the title of the story
Dump the bitch and get out of the partnership--he doesn't need any of those lousy dishonest people around. Have the business's accounts audited first, though. His partner has probably been skimming.
She has to go
She has to go noone in their right mind could trust her again. Also the former partner needs to get his. Sell his share of the business to an competor
Since you asked
You have a wife who and has been regularly unfaithful and never showed any desire to quit screwing the world. If he was stupid enough to take her back, ther would need to be complete medical exams and a firm understanding that anything, even shaking hands too long would be grounds for divorce.
He did not start his wife into her lifestyle, but his desires to show her off to friends, strangers, anybody, and everybody leave him wit some (about 5% of guilt in the matter.
She wanted to screw around on him with friends and strangers with nothing showing her was sorry for it or that she would quit doing it. No I would not take her back, she will not (can not?) change and would only hurt himself. He better look out for himself, because she is only interested in herself and in reaquiring a solid steady home to come back to after she fucks the world. He would be better off with the little whore in hte nude sex club that he gave $500 to, to get a man with his money and charm she would be happy to quit the life.
Hey guys the stories are fantasies written for the public (unless you want to drop DG a check) they are not real; if you can do better start writing.
I vote for Zoea 2
I do think that there would be no trust with him and any of the people in his life, especially Zoea. Each one screwed him. Other than to get revenge I do not think they would be together. I do think he would work to get revenge, both financial and emotional. DG you are a good writer, and one I read all the time, please finish this.
Not Bad
Loved the story,I'm not a strictly divorce the cheating spouse person, that would depend on how bad it was and what the situation was but she slept with other people multiple times and left no room for them to get back together.
Keep writing Bob
DG HEAR!!!!! PLEASE READ!!!
My editor LadyCibelle said I needed to finish this story with an ending. So I wrote you one. I have to post it here or it will take a week to get it posted. So You want an ending???? Here it is.
Zoea, my wife
Okay here's an ending.
"Zoea, I loved you with every part of my being. It was always me and you and no-one else. I wanted us to be that way forever. Instead you cheated on me time and time again. I can live with you. I could never trust you again. Please leave now before I harm you. I never want to see you again."
She started crying, as she walked over to the balcony that over looked the city. We were up high on the twenty third floor. She turned and looked at me with tears running down her face.
"Eric, I'm so sorry, I really do love you and can't live knowing I'll never see you again. I know I hurt you, but I can't take it back. Please forgive me," she said as she climbed up on the rail and jumped before I could get to her.
I looked down at her splattered body and cried.
Thank You for reading my stories
DG Hear
Love is like grief
Love is like grief, you can get over it and get on with your life. Only a true wimp would tolerate, accept, and forgive this level of dis-honesty, and betrayal of trust from his friends AND his wife.
How bad is it...
...when you have to ask what a betrayed husband should do about his lying, cheating, whoring slut of a wife? She was whoring around with multiple partners as a choice, not by mistake. Dump the bitch and walk away. What he was in love with is now proven to be a figment of his imagination ... she never truly loved him, as she claimed, and she was not his exclusively, as she claimed. Were I him, I'd shove the Chinese food in her face and shove her out the door, and I wouldn't give her a damned thing in the settlement.
I'm With "SatansCandy"
DGHear, I thought, used to produce good quality stories. This time he even has to attempt to tell us the story is EMOTIONAL!
Imagine that! Whether or not a story has "emotions" is not for an author to tell! It is for the reader to tell! Psychologically trying to tell a reader before he/she reads it is silly; deep down even the author knows it is not that "emotional."
The story is about a very immature man and a very dumb woman. Both have some ideals of what love and commitment is. He's willing to stick to it; she's not.
But, wait!, HE SAYS she says she also wanted the same thing he wants!, except she just never to to GETTING RID of her previous lovers, from Brad (the husband's supposed "best friend" to all kinds of men at her nude club place).
But, wait further!
"The reason I never could tell you and I knew I had to somehow, somewhere, sometime --- is that I've been fucking them for so long, so many of them, they knew they had me in a bind, y'know,,, They knew I was now married to a faithful, loving, monogomous man,,, and if I stopped having sex with them, they was gonna tell you, my dear beloved husband,,, and you would have divorced me. I could not live without you or you love.
"So, yes, through blackmailing, implicit and explicit, I UNHAPPILY continued having sex with them. But sometimes they used me roughly; and although I love sex, even with them, ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT IS MY LOVE FOR YOU, even during those sex sessions I do with men and women, in and out of the club.
"But, my life and beloved Eric, I can not live without you! Please, come back to me. I know you have wanted to try it with Amy. I got plenty of beautiful women friends at the Club, too! Of course, if you don't want that, and you don't want me to have sex with others any more, then I will stop it all together. I'd rather do that than lose you, NO MATTER HOW MUCH I ENJOY SEX WITH STRANGERS and friends and associates like Brad and Amy!
"I swear to you, Eric, my true and only love! I will stop having sex with others, if you want me to!"
Croc tears gushing down her cheeks of course. Bigger tears are gushing down his, too.
He turns to his audience and says,
"Well, folks, what do you think? What do I do? What do I do? It's so heart-wrenching! She's my love, and despite the fact that she's been fucking dozens of men, before, during, and after our marriage --- okay, she said she's swear she's not touched any one after I was beaten half to death by her giggling lovers at the beach where I found them fucking like dogs --- but, gosh, I BELIEVE MY BELOVED ZOEA!
"Tell me what to do, folks. I'm pleading with you! I know in my heart, I can forgive her. I trust her now. I know she's telling me the whole truth, from my invesgtiations, which were unknown to her. She told me every thing just now! Gosh, I love this woman so much, it hurts to be away from her,,, even when all I want to think about his her fucking and sucking dozens of men behind my back.
"I know she will never do it again, as she says! She says once she married me the only thing stopping her from quitting all that good sex she enjoyed so much was that if I knew, I'd divorce her. And she didn't want to be divorce, so in a way, beyond her control, she's trapped in that life style: couldn't get out and couldn't ask me, her beloved husband, to join in either, because she knew I won't likely approve of it,,, especially the lying to me, the constant sex with friends, colleagues, and Club members wihtout my knowledge all these years!!
"Gosh, what to do? I can't get rid of those aweful pictures of her fucking that man at the beach ((((it's more than one man fucking her; but he says only "that man"; Amy says it's a "rape"!!!!))) I can't forgive her and I believe she WILL CHANGE to be someone I can trust again. But what do I do, audience??? Help!"
Dear Good Author DGHear ----- seriously, do you believe this is a serious or "emotional" story? It's a little pseudo melodrama so simplistic, so silly, it merits not a whole lot!
damn!
was the impromptu "ending" really you, dear DGHear?!
and i just wasted writing a treatise down here! lol
you are, truly, a funny, silly author ---- if that's really you, down here!, i gotta give it to you!
now, the guy's gonna go into an extraordinarily long extended Freudian psychoanalizing series of sessions over the next 25 years,,,, coming to terms with how HE killed the only beloved woman of his life!!!!
Author please delete your last post
and reconsider finishing the story or just leave it as is if you are convinced that there is some merit to having it so open ended other than annoying your readership.
Trying to imply that readers only want to see her suffer and die and thats why you are getting critisism, is a dis-service to your readers and yourself (if you actually want honest feedback that is). Non-endings are not cute no matter which way you slice it. A ending where he suddenly decided that he wanted to suck other guys cum out of her would have been better than this.
If you were dead set on making the story open-ended, you shouldnt have dug her hole nearly so deep. By leaving only one reasonable outcome, you make it seem like you just got bored and decided not to finish, rather than that you were trying to give us something to think about.
I really dont agree with the implication that readers are only pissed because you didnt make the wife suffer enough. Its the least of the reasons why the story wasnt very good. If you had writen your feedback ending into the story, it would have been almost as bad though. Who would believe that a woman who engaged in group sex and serial infidelity for her whole marriage, all the while knowing exactly where her husband stood on the issue, would actually care enough about getting dumped to throw herself off a building?
Finish the story or dont. You're the author so its up to you. Dont try to blame the readers for not liking the story fragment you posted here though. Most arent attacking you and most are careful to distinguish between not liking the story and not appreciating the time and effort you put in to keeping us entertained (with no reward other than shit and abuse it probably seems).
I think you should move on without taking it so personally. Whether you continue the story or leave it as is, you still have to admit that this one wasnt one of your best. Even if it does make perfect sense to you and we are just not 'getting it', it still means the story failed since most people seem to agree that there was little reason/benefit to ending here. Maybe Im just too dumb to understand the nuances but you have to take your reader's ability into account when you write, dont you?
Thanks again for writing.
Its sad to see that the comments are getting to DG
DG,
I'll admit that usually I'm not totally happy with your endings. You are definitely a romantic at heart and would like to believe that a woman who says she'll never cheat again can actually keep that promise, so most of your stories have reconciliations.
Sadly, there is a sizable body of readers on this site that are hostile to "cheating wives" they want the wife to be branded in the face with a bunch of huge "A" for adulteress and then throw naked into a men's jail exercise yard. and they often are abusive when they see a story that doesn't fit this pattern.
Now, that said. You wrote and interesting story that has a lot of emotion, but also has flaws that make it not your best.
First - Eric's talk shows a man who never really is defined as more than just "intelligent investor". We don't get to see much about his moral standards, although he does say that he expects Zoea to always be loyal, and that he thought she was.
Second - You have Zoea lying to Eric time and again about being loyal, without a slip. Its not until she makes the obvious mistake of sunbathing nude after running into Jim and Bob that everything comes out, yet you say that Zoea is rather smart. This makes her another "dumb slut wife" in a lot of definitions. I can't imagine her not thinking about the high risk of getting caught, especially if it wasn't her first cruise. Also why go to a nude beach when she has the at least somewhat protected nude floor on the ship. The beach would leave her vulnerable to exactly what happened.
Then you have Eric beat up Jim and Bob AFTER he knew about all the other cheating that Zoea was doing (except her sleeping with Amy and Brad.) I can see it as revenge for them beating him up, but I'm not sure why he'd have bothered unless he's very unforgiving, in which case, he alsmot definitely wouldn't take Zoea back.
And Zoea finding Eric was a bit of a laugh. I'll admit that the Bahamans aren't the biggest place, but try to find a single person in any major city in the US, even if you knew they were staying in a hotel. Finding someone in the Bahamas in 3 days is an incredible feat worthy of a top police or FBI detective. And with her other actions, just doesn't fit. Zoea comes across as perhaps very book smart and good in an office, but lacking in any "street" smarts.
DG, your writing is almost always very good. You have an interesting of the emotional impact of cheating, but sometimes you get too tied up in making everyone stay together and happy, and I think you've run into a trap where the commenters strongly voice displeasure with that storyline has finally gottne to you. Take a break, write something romantic without a cheating spouse, maybe try a mystery or something, but don't quit because of teh comments. Look at what's said and look for the ones talking about style or something of substance and ignore those that merely don't like the plot because you wanted the "happy' ending.
Mr. Long Reviewer (back after a break. ;) )
Too bad,
I can't say I am a big fan of the endings, either one(the one in the story or the one listed below). Nor do I agree with previous poster who criticized the husband for standing up for himself for killing the only love of his life. Who are these people who are so willing to accept the cheating spouses back? I am not talking about a one time casual thing, either. What Zoea did was have an open marriage and forgot to tell her husband about it. A pretty big decision to be made unilaterally. I, for one, would like to be included in that decision in my own marriage. The entire marriage was a sham. She never revealed her true self, therefore the marriage was invalid. Does she deserve to die, no. To stay married, no. There is no happy ending to this story. How can you reconcile with someone so adept at lying? Would he EVER trust her again? Don't think so.
Great, but....
Great writing, mostly. But you wimped out, not your usual postion, when you asked your readers how it should end. As you had set up the characters, there was no choice but for him to kick her out. She had been living a deceitful life for years, apparently without a hint to her husband. That was an established personality. We could never expect her to turn it off, just like a light switch. If he took her back, he should expect her to continue that cheating life. The author established the characters' persdonalities, now he must live with them.
I've read hundreds of cheating wife stories and have never once seen an author attempt to describe exactly what "love" is. Many of the cheating wives (in the stories) say to their husbands something like, "But I truly love only you." And many times the husbands say that in spite of the wife's cheating, they still love them as well. It is getting to be so trite. Once, please, let an author take on the challange of describing exactly what "love" is and how it is so powerful that a husband will let his wife bed down with a hundred other guys, without his knowledge at the time, then take her back into their "marriage" because he "loves" her.
OK
I think DG, u can give a sequel to this story. If u are giving a happy ending then I think it would take a herculean effort to create the plot for that.
As I see it now Zoea is in a deep hole, something from which no ordinary writer can pull her out.
But yeah, if someone writes a sequel, I would love to see the direction it takes.
And please no more of those with jumping from the buildings and suicides. Thats escapism.
Personally...
I would've thrown her out. I'm sorry. you don't treat a guy like that you supposedly love. I really see no happy ending for those two, except for maybe Eric getting on with his life and finding someone who'll be faithful and true to him.
I definitely enjoyed the read.
End of a sweet life.
I really cannot see reconciliation. Zoea fucked around deliberately, planning her pleasures, lied continuosly & made Eric a humiliated cuckold. He not only lost his dream wife but also his business partner, his friends, his lifestyle.It is the end of a sweet life. I cannot see how the scars will ever heal.
I always enjoy your stories
You make it easy to imagine myself as a character in your stories. They are always interesting. I really enjoyed this story, and believe you have paused in an appropriate point.
My mood is “vindictive” at the moment, so I would like to see Eric deceive his wife, as well as his apparently manipulative partner. The revenge on the partner should be the "scorched earth" variety - loss of wife and kids, business, reputation, and health, if possible. We all could be manipulated, but Zoea must be very weak willed to allow the duplicitous life to exist. Let ‘em have it, DG, but make Brad’s greed the path to his downfall.
Thanks again DGHear.
inj
We need a sequel
This one needs a sequel desperately. In my honest opinion this whole situation merits only one king of responce from the poor suckered husband...
BURN THEM ALL. LEAVE NOTHING STANDING. SCHORCHED EARTH.
That kind of responce. He's a strong guy and he's hurt a LOT. He should let the lying bastards think he's forgiven them and take his time with his revenge. Let them cool down, think they're safe and then when when everything seems fine hit them so hard they think the sky is falling down on their heads.
They all betrayed him. His friends' friendship is a lie. His wife's "love" is a lie and always was. His whole marriage was and is a lie. This relationship has no future and reconciliation would be alien both to the husband as portrayed here and to any person with a minimum of pride and self respect. This calls for vengeance, old testament style.
But it should be slow and cold and complete from the beginning to the end. He should make them all pay and he should make them all see how easy it is for great love to turn into burning hate. No prisoners, no mercy. Vengeance is sometimes the only true answer.
Not worthy of your reputation
You had a great story going DG, too bad you were not into it. Needed more character development in the begining. I think you gave up on the story about the middle of it, what is the purpose of telling Zoea's story as it only rehashed what we knew anyways. It did nothing to further the story and is just a filler untill you could come up with really lame ending. Definitly not one of your better efforts.
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