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Verisimilitude
Nice story. It leaves the reader wondering about some details, such as --- how chubby IS the narrator? After all, if Marcus is genuinely bisexual rather than gay, he ought to be able to gin up some interest in her unless he's just not attracted to heavy women at all. (Which I could understand, as I'm the same way.)
Also, why, really, does she restrain herself from telling Marcus how she feels about him? "Friends don't fall in love with friends" is just a stupid saying that has no relationship to reality. Friendships blossom into love every day in every city in the land.
In short, for 21 paragraphs, the story engages the reader's attention and seems to be leading somewhere. Then it just crashes, without resolution or any other sort of denouement.
misleading title.
Although you are a great writer samuel x, spending too much time with detail and not enough on plot or character development makes a horrible read. I will give you three because it is well written.
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