All Comments on 'Now and Then'

by pmbluemoon

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 18 years ago
potentially

great. The image you've started off with is great:

'I sit by liquid silver in the sunlight'

but then your poem falls off a cliff. Think about removing the speaker from the poem to make it as effective as you can. Likewise, consider developing the poem around a strong image.

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