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English
Hang in there
Hope the wife does manage to help her husband through - a love like hers should not be crapped on by some gay shit. Not all guys who get raped turn into homos. So if your thinkin of turning the hubby into the faggot next chapter dont bother writin it.
Should hav been a good story if.......
Should have been a good story if you are more consistent with the names and their status.
First you introduce your hero as Louis Antoine. Then much further down you introduce him as Ronald Antoine minus 'Louis'. For a moment there I thougth they were two different character upon when read much further down they were the same person.
Second - you introduce Natalie Lorenzo Antoine as the wife of Ronald which was fine. But then somewhere further down you changed that to fiancee.
Very confusing.
Stick to your story and character. Make sure you keep tab of what you intended to write down. Don't change your mind midway and then reintroduce them again.
Also you repeated Louis or Ronald achievement again which was unnecessary.
Otherwise this story has potential.
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