The climax of the story was way too rushed. The build up was awesome until he turned on the lite next to his bed and saw her sitting there in the chair.
as you have a good theme and a fair to good plot development. But, I agree, the plot was just too rushed. The main characters need more time to get to know each other before jumping into the sack together. Maybe she could have spyed on him for a bit, or vise versa. The plot needs to step back once in a while and then go forward further again. She needed more time to tease him, such as riding along fence mending with him a couple of times and working her wiles on him while the two were alone "on the range." Keep writing.
English
WAAAY too rushed
The climax of the story was way too rushed. The build up was awesome until he turned on the lite next to his bed and saw her sitting there in the chair.
I'm interested to read other chapters though!
Summertime...
Man summer never felt better. Delicious, more please...
Nae
A good start...
as you have a good theme and a fair to good plot development. But, I agree, the plot was just too rushed. The main characters need more time to get to know each other before jumping into the sack together. Maybe she could have spyed on him for a bit, or vise versa. The plot needs to step back once in a while and then go forward further again. She needed more time to tease him, such as riding along fence mending with him a couple of times and working her wiles on him while the two were alone "on the range." Keep writing.
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